Meal Time! #5: TCDroogsma at World Street Kitchen

(THIS POST ORIGINALLY APPEARS ON THE TWIN CITIES BLOG NEWEST INDUSTRY)

Come on over tonight, come on over this morning...

Well hello again, our hungry friends!

Welcome back to our restaurant review column Meal Time! (it's supposed to be read like Mail Time! from Pardon The Interruption.  Get it?  Not sports fans?  That's cool.).  It's been quite a while since we sent old TCDroogsma out into the world to eat some food, but this week we managed to scrub him clean and send him on his way down Lyndale to check out World Street Kitchen.

Droogsy, what'd you think?

Well hey there, everybody.  It's been quite some time since I was tasked with sitting down and writing one of these food reviews.  As you can probably imagine, I've eaten many a meal since I last sat down to chat with you, I just haven't written about them.

Anyway, Newest Industry asked me to get back on my meal time grind, so I thought I'd take stroll down to 27th & Lyndale and check out World Street Kitchen.  Word on the street is that they have pretty solid vegan food.  They're also known for staying open late and trying to loosen the stranglehold Pizza Luce & Caffrey's have held on post-drunky time meals for years.

Now, seeing as how I'm pretty much incapable of staying awake past 7:30 at night I figured it would be best if I took stopped by for lunch on my day off.  Like a damn fool, I showed up at about 2:30, a half an hour before happy hour starts.  I'm, uh... I'm not a smart man.  I was, however, a hungry, non-hungover man, only half of which is typical on a Tuesday afternoon.

(Pro Tip #1:  Don't show up 30 minutes before happy hour. Droogs did that, so hopefully you won't have to go through that.)

Admittedly, I didn't know quite what to expect from World Street Kitchen.  Is this a place like Luce's where you sit down and order from a server?  Is it like Caffrey's where you order and stand around waiting while people make your food and give you sideways glances like you're an asshole?  Was it some sort of hybrid ala Bad Waitress?

Well, turns out you walk in, glance at the big, McDonald's-esque menu, order, and take a number & a seat.

Now, I'll be honest, I did have a look at World Street Kitchen's menu online before I stopped in.  As a vegan, this is a crucial move with any restaurant.  After giving it a look I came to the conclusion that I was going to give the "Bangkok Burrito w/Marinate Tofu" a go.

I should point out one quick thing before I proceed: I don't like burritos.  My generation has made it seem like burritos are nature's perfect food and frankly, I couldn't disagree more.  Burritos are the meal time equivalent of communism.  All parts are created equal, distributed equally, and wrapped in a tortilla for flavor-mixing convenience (fuck those bourgeois forks!). On paper, it seems like a brilliant idea.

However, to quote the philosopher Homer Simpson, "In theory, communism works. In theory." Much like applied communism, burritos don't work.  That theoretical "equal parts flavor explosion" doesn't exist.  Instead, you get one bite of lettuce, one bite of tofu, one bite of salsa, etc... If we've learned nothing from the work of George Orwell, it's that all parts may be created equal, but some are more equal than others.  The tortilla typically falls apart, spilling the proletariat ingredients everywhere and requiring the iron-fist rule of a wrapper to keep the whole thing together.  To put it bluntly, burritos suck.

So, with all that in mind, World Street Kitchen was looking at an uphill battle to win me over with this Bangkok Burrito.

Anyway, I sauntered up to the cash register, ordered my Bangkok Burrito.  Figuring that the burrito needed all the help it could get in this review, I also ordered a Grain Belt.  Sure, it was 2:30 on a Tuesday and I'd only been awake for 4 hours.  It was my day off.  Fuck you.

I was given my order number:

22! Clutterbuck status!

Well, I took my number and found a seat.  As you can see, the place was not particularly jumpin'.  Looks like I'm the only one who missed out on the "Happy Hour Starts At 3" memo.  As always, I'm an idiot.

Fortunately, the booze gods were feeling generous this Tuesday afternoon.  Moments after I sat down my cashier came over to inform me that the Grain Belt keg was empty and would I like to have a different beer instead.  Summit Saga it is!

(Pro Tip #2: Order the cheap beer on the days the keg is empty.  You will then be upgraded to more delicious beer for free.  Admittedly, this is a tough trick to pull off.  This is why I get paid the big bucks people.)




Anyway, I'm hungry. Let's do this:

(Cue the horns)

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the Bangkok Burrito with Marinated Tofu!

So here's the story so far:

Location: World Street Kitchen at 27th & Lyndale
Time Of The Day: 2:30 in the afternoon
Level Of Sobriety: Total, but trending downward
Dirty Player Status: Clutterbuck hits clean! Not like your team's grinders!
Meal: Bangkok Burrito with Marinated Tofu
To The Side: Nothing, no one, nothing around for miles
Beverage: Summit Saga at Grain Belt prices
Menu Price: Burrito: $8.00, Beer: $5.00
Total Price w/Tip: $14.00

Upon initial presentation, I was underwhelmed (if that's a word).  I mean, we can all agree that utensils are the tools of capitalist pigs, but could a dude at least get a plate?  This ain't a damn county fair!

Anyway, I unwrapped the foil of the oppressors and gave this thing a taste.  First impression, kind of bland but not bad.  The cooks did a very nice job of getting the tofu to have a nice, crispy outside and a chewy inside.  Wisely, the burrito consists of little besides rice, tofu, a bit of greens, and a pretty mild coconut curry sauce.

The burrito held its structure nicely as I worked my way through and the burrito was assembled in such a manner that I was actually able to get equal parts tofu, rice, and greens with each bite.  Good work by the folks behind the counter to solve one of the larger burrito problems (mixing all the flavors together) by conceding a smaller problem (not very many ingredients).


About three quarters of the way through this thing I found myself less full as much as I was bored.  It was OK, but the lack of flavor made the burrito seems like a bit of an endurance test.  However, I managed to put the whole thing down like a fuckin' champ.  I didn't pay non-happy hour prices for a burrito to not eat it all.

Now, considering that the burrito was almost exclusively rice & tofu, it wasn't the most filling thing in the world.  In hindsight, coming away with a more filling beer (Summit Saga) rather than Grain Belt turned out to be a godsend as it made the whole meal significantly more filling than it would have been had my order been presented properly.

So that's the meal.  Let's break this thing down:

Flavor: 5/10 - By making the aforementioned trade-off, the burrito bets heavily on the coconut curry flavor.  I'd call that bet a push.  It's pretty delicious, but a bit too subtle to be exciting.

Filling: 8/10 - As I mentioned, part of this was the beer choice, but this meal did turn out to be pretty filling.  Of course, for $14 it better be.

Price: 5/10 - Considering a burrito of comparable size, Chipotle's veggie burrito is cheaper and contains more ingredients.  None of those ingredients, however, are as awesome as marinated tofu.  Trading out the salsa/guac mix for marinated tofu & coconut curry is definitely worth $1.25.

Ambiance: 4/10 - The place has that oddly sterile, bare beams & metal look that screams "Hipster focus group."  The music was much the same, with T. Rex, dubstep, & Hot Chip all making high-volume appearances during my visit.  Still, the place was spacious with booths, a bar, and individual tables.  I could definitely see this working well as a drunky meal spot.

Service: 8/10 - There wasn't a huge amount of interaction, but the woman at the cash register was quite pleasant and seemed genuinely apologetic for running out of Grain Belt and forcing my beer upgrade.  I call that a win.

What Type Of Communism Is This Burrito?: Definitely the Swedish style.  It's bland, filling, & efficient.  If this had been the Russian type of communism the burrito would have had too many ingredients, less satisfying taste, a ruthless wrapper.

How Many Times Would I Eat This Meal Per Month?: Straight sober at 3 in the afternoon: Once.  Round midnight after 3 or 4 brandy gingers at the CC Club: As often as I drank 3 or 4 brandy gingers at the CC Club round midnight.

Final Score: 6/10 - All things considered my World Street Kitchen experience was pleasant against tough odds.  Leaning heavily on beer & tofu is almost always going to lead to a better-than-average experience.  I definitely came away from the meal thinking that 2:30 in the afternoon is not their money making time. On a Friday or Saturday night when the place has a bit more energy and a few more people I'll bet it's a great time.  Next time you're drinking on Lyndale you should consider skipping Caffrey's & Luce's for a night and give it a try.

Well there you have it, food fans! An efficient meal reviewed and filed away!

For more World Street Kitchen check out their website here.

For more TCDroogsma be sure to give him a follow on Twitter (@TCDroogsma).  He can also be found right here on Newest Industry hosting our free weekly podcast Flatbasset Radio.

For more Newest Industry be sure to give us a follow on Twitter (@NewestIndustry1) to stay up on the work being done by all of our contributors.  More importantly, we have a Facebook page here.  Trivial as it seems, stopping by and giving us a "Like" is a free & legit way to support the blog.

Meal Time! #4 With TCDroogsma: The Bad Waitress Diner & Coffeeshop

(THIS POST ORIGINALLY APPEARED ON THE TWIN CITIES BLOG NEWEST INDUSTRY.)

Nice game... bitches...

Hey food fans!

TCDroogsma's been spending too much time holed up writing and talking about music lately, so we cleaned him up and sent him out into the world to find a nice hot meal.  He managed to walk a whole six blocks from Planet New Basset to The Bad Waitress on the corner of 26th and Nicollet.

TCDroogsma, thoughts?

Alright, let me say right off the bat that I was already plenty clean when I was sent out to find this meal.  Admittedly, though, it was nice to eat warm food.  Variety's the spice of life, they say...

Now, this wasn't my first time going to The Bad Waitress.  It was my second.  However, it was my first time going their without nursing a pretty solid hangover.  Sobriety's the spice of life... wait, nobody's ever said that.

Annnyyyway, as you all hopefully remember, I stay all vegan everything.  As far as breakfast in the Uptown area goes, their are only a few decent options.  On my first trip to The Bad Waitress I indulged in something called "The Heavy Pedal," which was essentially scrambled tofu, hashbrowns, and vegan sausage.  Since I've already done two tofu-based reviews I thought I'd have a go at some other breakfast food.  But what else would make for a good vegan breakfast on a kind of frigid November morning?

Well, the place wasn't too busy, so, out of habit, I pulled up a seat at the bar and had a look at the menu.

(Pro Tip #1: Be careful sitting on this side of the restaurant early in the day.  The sun comes pounding through the storefront at just the right angle to incubate the bar.  Add in the hot coffee and I found myself sweating like Michael Beasley during a routine traffic stop.)

Now, on to breakfast.

Pancakes. Mufuckin' pancakes.

Boom!  I'm in.  For those who've never been to The Bad Waitress before, the name is actually a bit of a misnomer.  You don't even really have a waitress.  You write down your order on a piece of paper from the ordering pad, bring it up to the counter, and pay all at once.

Essentially, you're the waitress.  And, as noted, the expectations are low.  Just something to ponder as you wait for your food.  Notice that the top of my card reads "Black Panther."  Each seat has an accompanying card with the picture of a superhero or monster on it.  Obviously, it's important to note which superhero or monster represents you so that an actual waitress knows where to bring your food.

I have no idea who or what the Black Panther is.  Is he a superhero?  Is he a monster?  An outdated relic from a more racially-charged era in American history?  More importantly, does he represent me as a hungry patron?

After a quick Wikipedia search I've determined that The Black Panther was, "the first black superhero in American comics" and got his power from a meteorite made of the fictional material 'viabranium' that crashed into his home country, the island of Wakanda.  As the leader of the Wakandans he is, "entitled to eat a special heart-shaped herb which, in addition to his mystical connection with the Wakandan Panther god, grants him superhumanly acute senses and increases his strength, speed, stamina, and agility to the peak of human development."

So, yes, he is a superhero and not a monster.  And yes, this is arguably the most accurate portrayal of me as a hungry patron.  Fuck that Batman shit.

Now that we've established that I am the ginger-bearded, blogger equivalent of a righteous black superhero, let's get down to business.

(Cue the horns)

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, The Bad Waitress's Vegan Cake!

So here's the story so far: 

Location: The Bad Waitress Diner & Coffeehouse on the corner of 26th & Nicollet 
Time Of Day: 'Bout noon on a Tuesday 
Level Of Sobriety: Romney 
Racial Status: Conflicted  
Meal: Vegan Cake 
To The Side: Sizzurp 
Beverage: Coffee 
Menu Price: Pancake: $5.25, Coffee:  $2.00 
Total Price (w/Tip): $10.00

Admittedly, I was a little put off by the sheer quantity of pancake in front of me.  I mean, look at that damn thing!  It's bigger than the plate!  I even made a point of getting the sizzurp and coffee in the shot for scale.  I'm as hungry as the next Vibranium-addled, island nation-leading, mainstream-averse guy, but how could I eat so much damn pancake?

My only hope for eating such a quantity of pancake was that the cake would be light and fluffy.  Hopefully as much air as actual cake.  Unfortunately, this was not the case.

I gave it the old college try, but I found the pancake to be too, too doughy, and too chewy.  Like a high-quality sponge, a good pancake has enough airy-ness to be able to absorb the syrup.  Again, this was not the case with the vegan cake.  The syrup never melded with the cake, but rather just sat on top of it.  Each bite became an exercise in balancing fluid on solid rather than the sticky, sweet explosion in my mouth that I was hoping for.

Wait, what?

Double entendres aside, this was a lackluster pancake.  It was filling, but by the time I was halfway through it I had definitely taken on the mindset that I was eating it out of obligation.

(Pro tip #2: For an extra $1.75 you can add blueberries, strawberries, blackberries, bananas or chocolate chips.  Now, you all know that I'm the last person who would ever advocate eating fruit.  However, in this case, it's probably a good choice.  It would at least break up the monotony.)

So, that was the meal.  Let's break this thing down:

Flavor: 3/10 - Bland and doughy.  The only flavor involved came from the syrup.  It would have gotten a 1, but the coffee was excellent.

Filling: 8/10 - Under threat of physical violence I could have maybe finished this whole thing.  Fortunately, it didn't come to that.

Price: 6/10 - $5.25 is a very reasonable price for pancakes bigger than dinner plates.  When you factor in the fact that, one, it's not delicious, and two, you'll probably only eat 3/4 of it... well, it doesn't seem so reasonable.  Add in the (delicious) coffee and the tip though, and I would say that this is not the best way you could spend $10.

Ambiance: 7/10 - As mentioned, it was a little warm on the bar side.  They do have a jukebox that plays standard 30 year old hipster standards ("Song 2," "Hungry Heart," "Here Comes Your Man..."), which, as a 30 year old hipster, I can definitely get behind.

(Quick jukebox sidenote: At one point the jukebox played "Where Is My Mind?," after which one of the waitresses turned to the other and asked, "Who was that?" It was both adorable and heartbreaking.)

Service: 8/10 - Since I took on half of the waitressing duties I'm going to go ahead and say that I was awesome.  I was prompt, polite, and flirty (but not overtly so).  I would have given myself a 10 if I wasn't so shabbily dressed.  Still, a pretty great job.

If This Meal Was A Guest Rapper On A Kanye West Track It Would Be: 2 Chainz.  For some reason people really seem to love The Bad Waitress, and I guess I wouldn't say it was bad, but it was really just kind of... meh.

How Many Times Would I Eat This Meal Per Month If I Could Afford To: Sadly, probably never.  If I'm fucking with vegan pancakes I'm going to head down to French Meadow for their far superior corncakes.  And if I'm returning to The Bad Waitress I'm definitely going with the aformentioned Heavy Pedal.

Final Score: 5/10.  I don't mean for this review to reflect negatively on The Bad Waitress in its entirety.  I actually dig the place.  I do mean for this review to reflect negatively on the vegan pancake, though.  Doughy, chewy, non-absorbent... that's that shit I don't like.  If you find yourself at The Bad Waitress, stick with the omlette-tofu-sausage options.

Well there you have it, food fans.  An unsatisfactory experience chronicled and filed away.

For and look at the menu & more information on The Bad Waitress be sure to stop by their website here.  Or just swing by 26th & Nicollet.  Vegan & non-vegan options abound.  And they have booze.

For more TCDroogsma you can give him a follow on Twitter and/or Instagram (@TCDroogsma) or stop by his personal blog Flatbasset. He was lying up above.  His flirting was forced and clumsy.

Newest Industry also lives on Twitter (@NewestIndustry1).  Give us a follow to stay up on the work being done by all of our contributors.  More importantly, we also have a Facebook page here.  If we get enough "likes" we'll pick up some less shabby clothes for TCDroogsma.