Yeah, We Do Our Own Damn Thing...

01. P.O.S. - Purexed

This is a very personal choice and I’m going to spend too many words trying to explain it.
As you know, I spent more than half our 2009 living out in New York City. It was amazing, difficult, fun, terrible, fuck… I wouldn’t change it and I certainly don’t regret it. But that’s another blog. Or not. Whatever.

I arrived in Queens on January 31st. On February 2nd, Never Better was released and I played the fuck out that record. This basically was my New York album. My last little piece of home. I’m actually a little disappointed that I wasn’t around the Twin Cities while this album was blowing up, but that’s no real loss. It’s a wrecking ball no matter where you’re living.

I remember listening to this album while I rode the trains all over tryin’ to find a job, when I went to meet Sarah or her friends, while I walked around Williamsburg or walked Margo around the block. This album got me through what was unquestionably the biggest, craziest thing that I‘ve ever undertaken.

After a month or so, things weren’t going great. I still hadn’t landed a job, I was running out of money, I was homesick, hadn’t made any friends… I was unpleasant to be around, honestly. And the Never Better tour rolled into The Mercury Lounge. We went down, had some gin and tonics, maybe a PBR, and watched Mictlan & Beak (with a “Blessings“ cameo by F. Stokes), Sims, & P.O.S. and play all those songs that I just lived for. Hand Over Fist, Doomtree, just about everything off Never Better. I remember standing around a bunch of jerk off hipsters while being the only dude yelling “DTR” during “Suicide Jimmy Snuffa.” Honestly, it was just what I needed. After being confused and unpleasant in NYC, that show reminded me who I was (for better or worse). It was MPLS coming out for a visit and it was great.

So, things took a turn for the better over the next few months. Got a job (a bad one, but it was a start), I met a few people, Phil came out and visited, Sean Avery and Molson turned us into the most hated people at MSG for a night, summer came, things were, y’know, coming around.

However, for reasons I won’t get into here or now, things didn’t quite work out. It’s complicated and it’s none of your business. Eventually, it became clear that I was going to have to make a choice: Stay in NYC and build a life with Basset or come back to MPLS and try to build a life here. Now, it’s no secret that I love MPLS with all my heart, but NYC was starting to feel like home. It was like that great part of a relationship when you finally let your guard down and quit watching what you say around your new girlfriend. I honestly could not make up my mind about this for a while. Then this happened:




The whole video takes place in my old, and now present, neighborhood. That’s my street, that’s my coffeeshop, that’s my snow and my fucking skyline and you know what? I’m taking it back.

Now I know what you’re thinking, “You made the biggest decision of your life based on a music video? Do you have some kind of mental deficiency?” Well, shut up. I told you, it was complicated. But this song and video reminded me that I had a home waiting for me. That I had amazing friends, family, and a whole culture that I missed. That Minnesota was in my blood and this is where I belong. I still believe that. I think about New York all the time. Honestly, not a day goes by where I don’t wonder. But I’m happy here. What else could you ask for, really?

I don’t know if any of that makes sense and I’m really not sure it sounds the same in your brain as it does in mine, but that’s that. Thanks for checking out the list.

Favorites Of The 2000's: 20-2

Alright, so you probably noticed that I stopped posting my end of decade list last month. Or, rather, you probably didn't. In fact, the reason I quit posting them was because NOBODY was reading them or downloading the files. It was fun, but it was pretty time consuming, especially when no one was checking it out.

However, I did have the Top 20 hammered down months ago and I still felt like posting them. So, even if you ignored the previous posts, please download this one. The song quality, obviously, is stellar or it wouldn't be the end of the list.

Favorites Of The 2000's: 20-2

I'll be back next Sunday with a track by track and my number one absolute favorite song of the 2000's.


20. Martin Devaney - Flowers On The Doorstep

I first heard this one while listening to The Local Show on The Current one Sunday when they were doing an all request show. It took me about nine seconds to be totally enthralled and about 45 minutes to get to Cheapo and pick up the album.

Martin Devaney certainly has a way with tales of heartbreak, but setting this one to waltz time seems to have given it a little extra sense of formality and sentimentality. And that violin line is the audio equivalent of a sad, long-winded, inevitable but not desired break up. Plus, the lyrics just kill. “Boys, you should see the way she dances/a drunken compass of a blur…” is the kind of description that’s remarkably vague, specific, and completely relatable.

19. Aesop Rock - No Regrets

Only Aesop Rock would frame his mission statement in the third person. Aesop’s portrait of Lucy and her misunderstood life and misunderstood work doubles as Aesop explaining that even though we may never understand the art he creates, it’s something that he (or any other artist really) has to do to find fulfillment. “I knew what I wanted and did it until it was done, so I’ve been the dream I wanted to be since day one.” In short, the journey is its own reward.

Sidenote: Phil and I freaked the fuck out when he dropped this song at Soundset. Not really a song you’d expect at an outdoor festival.

18. Of Montreal - Bunny Ain’t No Kind Of Rider

For nearly four minutes, Kevin Barnes finally got it. Of Montreal manages to wrap at least four good hooks into this one, yet each one is allowed to breath and find its way into your frontal lobe. Plus, it makes you feel fucking great to refer to some girl who has rejected you by explaining to your friends that she, “Ain’t got no soul power.”

17. Lupe Fiasco - Kick, Push

This song is the textbook example of that special place rap found after gangsta rap became a joke (thanks Fiddy!) and Eminem finally became a joke (We get it, your wife sucks, your mom sucks, your kid’s great, you only have 4 things to say. I‘ll still watch 8 Mile though).

For years and years hip-hop spoke to black kids the same way punk rock spoke to white kids. With “Kick, Push” Lupe tried to make it clear that whether it’s skateboarding, beats, or guitars, kids are always looking “for a place to be.”

16. Modest Mouse - Ocean Breathes Salty

“Float On” gets a lot of credit for being the song where Isaac Brock quit being Mr. Negativity and embraced a good hook, but compared to “Ocean Breathes Salty” “Float On” sounds like, “C’Mon, Get Happy!.”

Anyone can put on a smiley face, but lyrically, “Ocean Breathes Salty” shows the kind of introspection that marks Brock’s turn toward maturity. Punctuated on several occasions by the line, “I had to think a while,” it’s clear that he’s finally able to see both the good and bad. “That is that, and this is this…” Life’s complicated.

Musically, this song still blows me away. I don’t know how they got that high guitar noise that seems to float over the whole song, but it was a stroke of genius. Only Modest Mouse could have written this song, and thank god they did.

15. Jay-Z - Heart Of The City (Ain’t No Love)

No song in the last 10 years has sounded better blasting out of car speakers while tearing down the highway. I don’t even know what’s second. Probably “99 Problems.” We all owe Kanyeezy a drink for this beat.

Lyrically, with the exception of one misguided “faggots” line, Jay just crushes it. He’s gone from, “I’m gonna go get it,” mode to “I got it, show some respect” mode. “Jigga held you down 6 summers, damn, where’s the love?”

Of course, Jigga put out one more classic album (The Black Album) before he fell too far over the line, demanding respect for subpar albums. But right here, in the middle of The Blueprint, he wanted it and you had to give it to him.

14. The Plastic Constellations - Black Market Pandas

I absolutely love this song, but it always makes me a little sad. With Crusades and We Appreciate You The Plastic Constellations had finally struck the right balance between post-punk guitar, hip-hop lyrical pacing and absolutely fucking killer hooks (You should see me sing that, “South Minnnesoooota!” line while I’m driving. Not pretty.). I know it took a long time for them to find that balance, but they were right there At this trajectory they would have been running the Twin Cities by the end of the decade. Ah well… TPC, motherfucker, cop a feel or two!

13. Doomtree - Gander Back

I was torn with which DTR track was going to crack the Top 20, ultimately “Gander Back” over “Kid Gloves” for a couple of reasons.

1. Doomtree is a hip-hop collective. Hip-hop. I don’t say this to take anything away from Cecil Otter or Dessa because lord knows I love what they do. They are absolutely indispensable parts of the DTR equation. That being said, Mictlan, P.O.S., and Sims are pure MC’s. I bet the chorus was the very last thing they wrote for this song. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a twelve minute version of this song on the cutting room floor with these three just tearing off verse after grimy verse.

2. Lyrically, this song encompasses exactly what makes independent hip-hop great. It reminds you that there’s no shame in picking a vision, setting a goal, and working your ass off to make it happen. “You want the view from the roof, don’t wanna build from the bottom? Truth is we got ‘em, brick by brick over fist, with or without ‘em.” It’s yours to build and you shouldn’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Sidenote: I was talking to Mictlan a couple days ago about this song and he mentioned that when he says, “Doing that MC Hammer dance,” he was actually doing the Hammer dance. Real recognize real.

12. Radiohead - 2+2=5

You’re probably wondering how something off Hail To The Thief went top 20 while “The National Anthem,” “Knives Out,” & “All I Need” are nowhere to be found. Good question. Those songs are all probably better than this one, but this is my list and this one’s personal.

As far as I know this is the only Radiohead song that Phil knows and I can’t ever listen to it without picturing him singing along in his best Thom Yorke voice (which is ten times funnier when we’re drunk). And I can’t think of that without grinning like an idiot. It’s my list and I can make up whatever criteria I want. I think “Song makes me smile from ear to ear” is a legit factor and this one scored big.

11. Murs (w/Joe Scudda)- Silly Girl

Another personal choice. This song has so many lines that have become regular fixtures of Phil & my conversation that I’ll have to break it down.

1. “I’m at where I’m at and I’ma be where I’ma be and that’s about all you need to know…”

When girls text one of us at random or when we’re out painting the city gold.

2. “It’s not hot, it’s not cute, it’s not getting you anywhere, and it’s about to get you fired…”

Usually referring to the slightly angrier text follow-up text from aforementioned girl when the first text is ignored.

3. “One day at the crib she gonna let you break ground…”

Um, self-explanatory

4. “That’s how it be when your falling in…um… I wouldn’t say that…”

Ha! We’re bad people.

5. “Silly little girl, simple little girl, you didn’t want me when I wanted you…”

Instant “my girl and I broke up and I’ve gone super-fucking-emo” antidote.

6. “I took Tasha to the Hyatt, oh yeah, I went there again…”

As far as I know neither of us has actually brought a girl to the Hyatt. Or even set foot in a Hyatt. Still, fun line to drop.

7. “That story about that cow and that milk ain’t a fact, ‘cause if you wait too long that milk goes sour, and I like my lovin’ hot no more cold shower.”

I played this song specifically for that line while driving Phil and his girl home from Minnehaha Lanes once. There is nothing as fun as an inside joke between two people when there’s four people in a car.

10. Wilco - Impossible Germany

For the record, I have no clue what Jeff Tweedy’s singing about, but he sounds absolutely perfect singing it. No one else’s voice could pull this song off. Plus, when you’re feeling down, the line, “This is important, but I know you’re not listening…” will cut straight to your heart.

Now, if you’re reading this, you probably know me. You know that I am not a guitar junkie by any stretch of the imagination. I usually view guitar solos as a kind of non-sexual masturbation. And if you’re gonna take the sexual aspect out of masturbation then, y’know, what’s the point?

However, the second half of this song is a perfect little storm whipped up here by Tweedy and Nels Cline. With Cline taking the lead for the first half, it sounds like vintage Steely Dan, professional, clean, and enjoyable. Then, halfway through, Cline freaks the fuck out and starts fuzzing up his part like crazy while the Tweedy side catches a brilliant groove, eventually taking over the song until the two-parts come crashing back into each other. I saw them do this song live in Duluth, outdoors, in the rain, and neither missed note. It was absolutely mind blowing.

09. Kanye West - The Glory

I already gave this one 200 words a while back, but I’ll talk this shit again. Kanye’s ego (always his most intriguing trait) is in full on you-can’t-sit behind-me mode. “I’m pop, The Barkers, I’m hood, The Parkers…” He’s everything to everyone. And, in case that’s too cryptic, we get, “With my ego, I could stand there in a Speedo and still be looked at like a fuckin’ hero!” and, “When you meet me in person, what do you feel like? I know, I know, I look better in real life!” I can’t get enough of this.

If you really want to be blown away, try to tune out Kanye and just listen to this beat. He’s certainly got the talent to back up the ego.

08. Graham Wright - Medicine Hat

This is my absolute favorite love song from the 2000’s. Unlike Coldplay’s “The Scientist” (which is about a love that probably shouldn’t have ended, but Chris Martin’s a fuck up and, hey, “Nooobody said it was eeeeaaassssyyy”) and Death Cab For Cutie’s “I Will Follow You Into The Dark” (which is about a love that actually seems to come to fruition, even if it is romantically morbid), “Medicine Hat” blows them both away in a scant 138 seconds.

How? Because somehow Graham Wright struck the most relatable chord. I don’t know if this song (or the EP it came from, which seems to revolve around this same unattainable relationship) is true or not, but it’s genius.

Look, we’ve all been in love with someone we can’t have. And usually it plays out just like this song. Part of the reason you love this person is because you know them. You’re comfortable with them. You do things like take long car rides with them. You turn the radio up and sing along together. You take weird, platonic naps with each other. You don’t get upset when their boyfriend or husband calls (because that would upset them, and that’s the last thing you’d want to do), but you don’t tell them either. You just pretend it’s not important and enjoy your little shared moment. Graham Wright is a heart-wrenching genius.

07. Cecil Otter (w/P.O.S.) - Traveling Dunk Tank

This is my favorite live song of the last decade. Fifth Element, Triple Rock, Mainroom... It absolutely kills (especially that bonus third chorus).

It's my understanding that P.O.S. & Cecil are the root of this whole crazy Doomtree phenomena. It's easy to see why they've been so successful. Notice the way P.O.S. attacks this beat, sticking a "nuh-uh" before the verse while Cecil waits for the beat to hit, sitting back and making a delayed entrance into his verse. Perfectly complimentary. Add the second best chorus in the Doomtree catalog and you have one hell of a song.

06. Why? - Fatalist Palmistry

A lot of Why? songs leave you trying to figure out exactly what the fuck you just listened to. And that’s why this one stand out. Yoni Wolf brilliantly ties together a bunch of (probably) fictional non-sequitirs about psychics, cats, birds, jet streams, painted ponies and a “song on my palm that you can’t read…” with a chorus that makes it clear that, yeah, life’s OK. In fact, we’re all pretty lucky to be, “alive, and loved, and wide-eyed in (our) time…”

Plus, this song contains the achingly poignant line, “I’m lucky to be under the same sky that held the exhale from your first breath like a ring on a pillow of clouds…” Maybe my favorite line of the decade. With the obvious exception of that “Story about the cow and milk ain’t a fact…” line. Whatuptho?

05. Buck 65 - Blood Of A Young Wolf

If Tom Waits grew up on hip-hop…

A. I wouldn’t loathe Tom Waits
B. He’d be Buck 65
C. He’d never, ever write a song this good.

Taken at face value, the lyrics to this song make no sense whatsoever. However, take as a kind of stream-of-conscious poem, Buck 65 paints a brilliant picture of the complications of modern life, women, technology, music, society in general and a longing for a life that’s simple and pure. “I still love you lying down, k-i-s-s-i-n-g…” Of course, this desire for a different life leads to a couple brilliant lines about losing yourself in the process. “What do I know? Who am I? My two left feet and my big dumb face. I’d do the same if I had the chance, cheat the system, rig the race…” I’ve never heard anyone so eloquently say, “Please, just stop everything for a minute, I’m tired, I’m confused, and I don’t know what I’m doing.” I mean, we all feel that way sometimes.

04. Legion Of Doom - Hands Down Gandhi

I’ve always had kind of a soft spot for mashups and this is easily the best one I’ve ever heard. By mashing together Dashboard Confessional’s “Hands Down” and Sage Francis’ “Slow Down Gandhi,” Legion Of Doom make it nearly impossible to hear either original song the same way again.

Let’s start with Sage Francis:

He’s clearly very upset. I mean, he usually is, but his lines are pointedly venomous on this one. Oddly, the original "Slow Down Gandhi" doesn't sound as urgent. Props to Legion Of Doom for giving this one the canvas it deserves.

“From up here I see Marines and Hummers on a conquest, underdogs with Wonderbras in a push-up contest. All for the sake of military recruitment.”

“I don’t care how half-naked or fake she looks, she smells like dirty cash and aged paper books.”

“If they could sell sanity in a bottle they’d be charging for compressed air.”

“When push turns to shove you jump into your forefather’s arms.”

“When the cameras stop rolling stay the fuck out of the picture pilgrim!”

“Republicrat, Democran, one party system, media goes in a frenzy? They’re stripped of their credentials”

“When the music’s dead I’ll have Ted Nugent’s head hanging on my wall.” (Amen.)

“6 in the morning police at my crib, now my nights consist of two toothpicks and eyelids. A crucifix and vitamins, music that is pirated, new favorite food made of mutated hybrids. They tell me that ‘it’s not that bad. It fucks you up good, but it’s not that bad.’”

And lastly,

“You support the troops by wearing yellow ribbons? Just bring home my motherfuckin’ brothers and sisters.” (That one just kills me.)

Onto the Dashboard Confessional aspect. “Hands Down” is a song about meeting a girl and it being “the best day ever,” however, when juxtaposed with Sage Francis’ rage at a pretty screwed up society, that sounds like the most trivial fucking thing on earth. For making Dashboard Confessional sound even more trivial and ridiculous (no easy task), Legion Of Doom are geniuses.

03. Low - Step

I’m sure your tired of me typing lyrics that you can clearly hear for yourself but this one calls for it.

“Hey, keep an eye on what you say
You think the words just walk away?
But they’re creeping through my brain
Sinking straight into my step”

What makes this song great is it’s essentially an ode to Midwestern, ’Minnesota Nice,’ passive-aggressiveness, a subject that I know tooooo well. If someone says something upsetting, we may not say anything (after all, we’d rather be polite than honest), but you better believe that we have long memories. Words never “just walk away.” They’ll creep into our brains and into our steps for a long time.

02. Atmosphere - Smart Went Crazy

Part mission statement, part hometown love letter, part abstract poetry, part accusation, part love song… This is easily the best thing Slug’s ever done. Not just that, but Ant’s beat absolutely destroys speakers. I haven’t found a stereo yet that gets loud enough for this song.

“I don’t know where I’m going but I’ll end up in your arms…”

They Try To Stop The Growth...

What do you expect out of artists? Do you prefer artists who provide you with the same thing over and over again? A nice warm blanket that you can wrap yourself up in each time they create something new? Obviously, this approach has led to plenty of great art. One look at the catalogs of great musicians such as Morrissey, Belle & Sebastian, and Oasis prove that, yes, there is plenty of value is “giving the people what they want.” I’m a fan of all of these acts and I still look forward to each of their releases. Of course, this is the same reason no one has bought a new Rolling Stones album since 1978. You know exactly what you’re getting (in this case a few good blues licks, some pouty Mick Jagger bullshit, 7-9 tracks of filler, and Charlie Watts), and that’s the very reason you avoid these releases.

Or, do you expect artists to challenge themselves and, by extension, you? Plenty of great art has been born of this approach as well. The best example of this that I can think of is The Beatles. If The Beatles had wanted to crank out remake after remake of Help! they certainly would have still made a dump truck full of money. They’d probably be spoken of in the same breathe as Herman’s Hermits and The Rascals, but they would have done fine for themselves. As we all know, they didn’t rest on their laurels, instead choosing to continue to push the envelope, giving us classics like The Beatles & Revolver. Of course, they also gave us The Magical Mystery Tour & Yellow Submarine. With the benefit of history, however, we’re able to place those albums in the “Misguided Idea” piles. And don’t forget, “Hey Bulldog” indirectly led to The Beatles

The other question I have for you is, what do you expect of artists side projects? Obviously, expectations should be curbed whenever an artists leaves their comfort zone, but what do you, as the recipient of that art, expect for your money? Should we expect it to be a place for an artist to let their hair down, i.e. the first incarnation of The Breeders? Or should we expect it to be a place for an artist to test their own boundaries, something like Stuart Murdoch’s recent God Help The Girl project?

For those who don’t know, Felt is the project of MC’s Murs and Slug. On their first collaborative album, Felt: A Tribute To Christina Ricci, they were backed by Living Legends producer The Grouch. While that album was no great conquest, it was the textbook definition of a “side project.” Two talented MC’s clearly enjoying each other’s company and “letting their hair down” for a bunch of none too serious jams.

The second album, Felt 2: A Tribute To Lisa Bonet, found Slug and Murs in a different class of indie rappers. Both had put out now-classic albums (Atmosphere’s God Loves Ugly & Murs’ Murs 3:16: The 9th Edition) and pulled themselves up to the upper echelon of the indie hip-hop community. To that end, it’s clear that they brought their A game. Backed by Atmosphere’s Ant on the beats, both MC’s sound completely comfortable spitting about their usual subject matter (girls, the road, themselves, um… girls). Plus, Ant sounds positively ready to rock a house party after the Epitaph-backed, punk-rap Seven’s Travels album. All of these factors added up to Felt 2 being fucking classic. Two MC’s and a producer at the tops of their games having a ball. Tracks like “Dirty Girl,” “Early Mornin’ Tony,” “Woman Tonight,” and, “Gangster Ass Anthony” are bona fide essentials on Slug and Murs mixtapes.

So where does this leave us for Felt 3? Well, to figure that out I think it’s important to analyze just where each of the major players is at.

Both Slug and Murs are at the point in their career where they can push the boundaries of what they do and fall back into the old formula, pleasing old fans. And that’s just what each of them are doing.

After an album on which they sounded like they were running out of things to talk about (2005’s You Can’t Imagine How Much Fun We’re Having) Atmosphere’s most recent release, When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold, found Slug finally getting out his comfort zone of self-deprecation and womanizing, using the album to tell the stories of people struggling to balance bad jobs, addictions, kids, frayed relationships, and life in the post-Stock Market crash America (despite the fact that the album came out before the crash. Maybe Slug knew something). On the flipside, though, Atmosphere has continued to release it’s long-running Sad Clown EP series (not to mention give away the Leak At Will EP and Strictly Leakage LP), on which Slug continues to be Slug, cracking jokes about women and himself while treading slowly into the story-based waters of Lemons.

Murs has taken an eerily similar path. He put out an album that was basically 3:16 The 9th Edition Pt. 2 (2006’s Murray’s Revenge) before eventually signing with a major label for 2008’s Murs For President. While that albums contrast with previous albums wasn’t nearly as dramatic as Atmosphere’s trajectory, it did find Murs working with an array of producers rather than just 9th Wonder. Of course, because his popularity allowed him to, he did sign on with 9th Wonder to create and give away the Sweet Lord LP. Both MC’s were clearly torn between pushing their art forward or pleasing their hard won fans.

This brings us to the crucial third player on this album. On the previous albums, Murs and Slug were working with producers with which at least one of them was familiar (and in the cannibalistic world of hip-hop, both were probably familiar). To that end, we welcome Aesop Rock to the fold. This should have made it clear to anyone that this album was not going to be the good-time party-ride that the first two albums were. Since both MC’s have collaborated with Aesop on tracks (Murs on “Happy Pillz” and Slug on “I’ll Be OK”), they obviously knew what they were getting into. Aesop Rock’s been making his own beats for years and they can be much too dense and obtuse for people who’s brains don’t fire the same way his does (and, face it, nobody’s brain fires the way his does). Clearly, by enlisting Aes Rock, the boys were taking on a new challenge.

So with that as our background, it should be clear what we’re getting into with Felt 3: A Tribute To Rosie Perez. By enlisting Aesop Rock, and taking a look at what Slug and Murs have been up to since Felt 2, we should have all been prepared for this version of the Felt side project to be a way for them to push themselves and test out new ideas, rather than just another victory lap.

“I want you to work your way out upon that limb as far as you can, if you see anything strange, let me know…” This is how “Protagonists,” the first track off Felt 3 greets us and it should serve as a 24 word condensation of the point I just spent 1200 words making. It’s time for our baby birds to work their way out and see if they can fly. And in my opinion, they succeed admirably. Aesop’s beats as always, are complicated, surprising, and thoroughly enjoyable. Nowhere near as dense as Bazooka Tooth, more in tune with Aesop’s last album, None Shall Pass. Tracks like “Bass For Your Truck,” “Like You,” and “She Sonnet” are as close to “bangers” as we’re likely to ever get from Aesop Rock. Believe me, this shit sounds great in your car.

The one thing that Felt 3 has in common with the previous releases is that it features a producer letting his hair down. Of course, when Aesop Rock loosen the reins it means something completely different than when your average producer does it. Clearly having fun, Aes fills the beats with compelling little twists and turns. “Ghost Dance Deluxe” has a horn line that sounds like it came straight from The Specials classic “Ghost Town.” While the wah-wah guitar and sped-up samples that hover below the drums in “Felt Good” and the Bomb Squad-style “We Have You Surrounded” are both great examples of the attention to detail he puts into his beats. And this is to say nothing of the little instrumental breaks (most notably “Kevin Spacey,“ and “Get Cake”) that break up the album, all of which re 50-100 seconds of bouncy beats, a welcome reprieve to those tired hip-hop skits. This is what happens when a producer lets his hair down.

Which brings us back to Slug and Murs. If they were out to be tested, tested they were, and the results are mostly high marks. While they lack the playful vibe that permeated the first two albums (oddly, leaving that to those aforementioned Aesop instrumental breaks), they do sound like they are enjoying the kind of satisfaction that comes with pushing your own limits. “Protagonists, ““Felt Chewed Up,” and “She Sonnet” all find our boys sticking close to their usual lyrical themes of bragging up their own skills, but branching out into flows we’ve never heard before. “G.I. Josephine” provides a peculiar portrait of a single mom hitting up the town (“She got her hair done, and her go-getter breasts on…“). “Permanent Standby” is a cautionary tale of drugs and debauchery in the big city (and contains my favorite Slug line on the album. Referring to Minneapolis, “Fuck this weather, it’s not fucking funny…”). The even a quick touch of social commentary on “Deathmurdermayhem.” The best melding of all three styles comes on the aforementioned “Ghost Dance Deluxe” which finds Slug and Murs talking about women (nothing unusual there), but, perhaps due to the beat or maybe from just spending too much time with Aesop, they are talking about how they need a ghost instead of a living girl. Murs claims he should, “forget material girls, I need a paranormal chick from an ethereal world.“ I don’t know what that means, but I hope he finds her. Hell, she might get that wedding ring.

If there is one drawback to the album, it’s that both MC’s sound too damn serious all the time. As if focusing on catching these beats has taken all of their concentration. The only thing even remotely close to the lighness of previous albums is “Henrietta Longbottom,” on which Slug and Murs paint bizarre pictures of one of the local weirdos. But even on that one Aesop gets the last laugh.

While this album is certainly going to help me get through yet another relentless Minnesota winter, what is really did was make me hungry for a new Aesop Rock album. After a whole album of Slug and Murs, when Aesop finally turns up to deliver the hook on the albums second to last track, “Give It Up,” it serves as a reminder that, while Slug and Murs are immensely talented MC’s, no one can ride an Aesop beat quite like the man himself.

Flatbasset-December '09

Here it is, kids. Last mix of the year. Honestly, I think it's one of the best I've put together (I've been acquiring records like crazy the last couple of weeks). I loaded it a little differently this month, but you should be able to download it the same way as always. Y'know... click, letters, numbers, audio gold...

Flatbasset - December '09

01. Iggy Pop - Tell Me A Story

I was listening to The Current on Thanksgiving and they were running a bunch of episodes of Theft Of The Dial. I heard this song during Black Francis’ set. He was singing the praises of this album, New Values, from 1979. After listening to it a few times it made perfect sense that Black Francis would recommend it. You can hear it all over those old Pixies records.

02. BK-One (w/Aceyalone, Myka 9, & Abstract Rude) - Mega

BK-One is Brother Ali’s DJ, which means he’s tied up most of the time. I read that when he has free time he and his wife like to travel. At one point they went to Brazil and he spent most of the trip crate digging. He took all those old Brazilian records, chopped ‘em up, called some fantastic MC’s (Ali, Slug, Murs, Print, I Self, Black Thought…) and put together this Radio Do Canibal album and it’s fantastic! If I would have told you that the best Brazilian-influenced hip-hop album ever would have come out of Minnesota you wouldn’t have believed me, would you?

03. Thao With The Get Down, Stay Down - When We Swam

My favorite November Current song. “Oh, bring your hips to me…” is one hell of a pick up line.




This is Thao With The Get Down, Stay Down. If you know me you know why this is funny.

04. Death From Above 1979 - Black History Month (Alan Braxe & Fred Falke Remix)

Has there ever been a band better suited for remixes than DFA 1979? I not really a fan of remixes in general, and the original version of this song kills, but Alan Braxe & Fred Falke (whoever they are) did a lovely job of fleshing this song out.

05. Wale (w/Gucci Mane) - Pretty Girls

I like Wale because he’s a great example of the way “mainstream” and “underground” are words that are increasingly difficult to use to describe hip-hop. I guarantee that if I ever host a party, Attention Deficit is going to get major play (and you pretty girls better clap clap).

Sidenote: I had to put this song on there just so I could say Gucci Mane turned up on one of my mixes (“Yellow stones on my wrist remind me of a Slushee”). WTFuck, Gucci?

06. The Hold Steady - Magazines

New York does get pretty heavy, believe me.

07. Har Mar Superstar (w/Karen O) - Cut Me Up

This has to be one of the most criminally underrated singles in the history of Minnesota music. Instead of being over the top graphic, Har Mar toes the line nicely. I also like the fact that this song essentially has two choruses (“Cut me up, break me off baby…” “cut me up, uh uh owww”) Why save hooks for other songs when you can just jam them into one fucking great song?

Sidenote: This song is better then all the songs off It’s Blitz! combined.

08. F. Stokes & Lazerbeak (w/Mictlan) - Blessings

I was at work a couple of weeks back and Mictlan passed along a copy of Death Of A Handsome Bride, Stokes & Beak's EP. I remembered Stokes jumping on stage with Beak & Mictlan at the Mercury Lounge a while back and dropping this song and I was very impressed.

I love Mictlan’s verse on this song for two reasons, 1. It turns the song from Chicago to Minneapolis and 2. Shout out to tofu!

09. Why? - Into The Shadows Of My Embrace

I was a little skeptical when I picked up Eskimo Snow a while back. Alopecia was a nearly-perfect album and Eskimo Snow was being marketed as the songs that “didn’t fit” with Alopecia (they were recorded at the same time in MPLS. That’s right, two of the best left-field pop albums and the best Brazilian-based hip hop album were both out of Minneap. It's not all Slug and Paul Westerberg, kids). However, I guess the reason the songs were left off is because they’re even more “indie rock” than Alopecia, which is a great thing (note the guitar freak-out at the end of this one). This record is going to get so many plays while I try to get through this winter.

10. Attracted To Gods - Demon Girl

Attracted To Gods is the guitar & drums blues band led by Atmosphere’s guitar player Nathan Collis. Their Sinners & Saints album is pretty solid. I mainly put this one on for the Cecil Otter fans who download my play lists (y’know, all, um, none of you). Cecil chopped this one up for his own “Demon Girl.”

11. Brazilian Girls - Losing Myself

Oddly, my friends Jesse & Inga both turned me on to Brazilian Girls at the same time. They’re decent, but they’re kind of a joke too. I mean, French lyrics? If you’re not David Byrne, you’re not gonna pull this off. Great hook, though.

12. The Dandy Warhols - Minnesoter

The Dandy Warhols will always have a fan base in Minnesota thanks to these 180 seconds. Sure, that fan base is getting to be over 30 and probably won’t go to shows past 10:00 PM for much longer, but we’re still here! Nothing but love!

13. Bobby Caldwell - Open Your Eyes

I put this one on for all the Common fans who read my blog (fuck it, there are no Common fans reading this. Hell, there’s no Common fans WRITING this blog). Still, I bet when J Dilla found this song in his crates he fucking lost it. I’ve always said, the best thing about most Common records is the beats. The guys got talented friends.

14. Felt - Ghost Dance Deluxe

Speaking of talented friends, Aesop Rock’s beat owns this song. I won’t get into all again, but listen to those horns. Straight out of “Ghost Town.” Plus, Murs & Slug swearing off living girls to pull dead girls? Don’t you guys have enough girl problems?

15. Total Babe - Barebones

My favorite Minnesota-based Current song of the month. Not to knock the song, but this was more a case of "someone has to win." Come on, Minny, step ya game up.

16. Tom Waits - Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis

You know I’m no Tom Waits fan, but this one seemed appropriate. More for the Christmas/Minneapolis bit, not, y’know, the hooker bit..

Flatbasset-November '09

Sorry I'm so late with November's Flatbasset Mix and with my countdown of my favorite 250 songs of the 2000's. I've been living like the bastard child of Karen O and Eddie Argos for the last couple of weeks. But, I'm here and it's now, stretch out and enjoy.

Flatbasset-November '09


01. The Get Up Kids - Mass Pike

If you’ve been regularly downloading my playlists, you know it’s no secret that I have a real soft spot for that late 90’s-early 00’s emo. The Get Up Kids are a prime example of everything that was good about emo before it really mainstreamed (that’s right, I make up verbs) a couple of years later. When you break down a song like “Mass Pike” down, it’s just a pop song about being on the road and missing your girl. Obviously, these are not subjects that only inhabit the world of emo. I mean, we’ve all been there, y’know?

02. Cee-Lo - One For The Road

There’s a great line in this one where Cee-Lo claims, “If I only had 16 more bars to live, I’d get high and hopefully OD on an alternative.” This song perfectly lays the groundwork for what Cee-Lo was about to do, which, as we all know, was Gnarls Barkley.

Props to Phil for passing this one along to me.

03. Lucero - The Devil And Maggie Chascarillo

Tied for my favorite non-Minnesotan song on October’s batch of Current Songs Of The Day. I had heard some Lucero before I heard this song and it was pretty raw stuff. Thanks to the horns and keyboards, this song has that southern swagger that seemed to be missing. Plus, that chorus is a fucking killer.

04. Unicorn Dream Attack - Alone

I caught The Current while I was at work the other day and they were playing their favorite 8-bit songs. You know, songs built around old Nintendo noises and such. I was a little underwhelmed by this phenomena when it came about a few years back, but I had forgotten how great this song is. What a lovely little love song.

05. Rage Against The Machine - Sleep Now In The Fire

Speaking of songs I forgot I like. By no means am I a hardcore Rage fan. I’m barely a fan at all. But every now and then they catch a groove and I’m reminded that this whole rap-rock thing had potential once. Can you believe it’s been ten years since this record came out? Goddamn I’m getting old.

06. John Vanderslice - Fetal Horses

Does anybody who reads this no anything about John Vanderslice? Over the years I’ve ended up with a few of his songs and they are all brilliant little pop gems. For some reason this sounds to me like a super-poppy Ted Leo. Anyone else hear that or am I losing it?

07. Golden Silvers - True No. 9 Blues

The other half of the tie for favorite non-Minnesotan song. Mikko Koivu's theme song when Steph signed with Tampa Bay. Kids, this is how you rip off the 80’s. Please take note.

08. Operation Ivy - Sound System

I can’t hear this song without wanting to get up and skank. Makes me feel like I’m 15 years old again.

09. Brother Ali - The Freshest Kids (w/Toki Wright & Evidence)

That’s right, I put Brother Ali on the mix two months in a row. I think he might be the first artist to be able to put that on his resume (and he should, I’ve put some good stuff on these). Besides, who puts together a theme song for their own tour? I bet this one killed at every date of that Fresh Air Tour.

10. Lower 48 - Miles From Minnesota

My favorite Minnesotan song of The Current this month. While I can’t relate to a desire to leave Minnesota, it does have a charming little melody and a sweet story of the little things that are great about being a couple (“We’ve got everywhere to go, but you should sleep, I’ll see you in the morning). Awww…

11. The Rentals - Please Let That Be You

Return Of The Rentals stands up better than almost every other Alternative Nation album from the 90’s (no offense, that dog). Who would have thought that when Matt Sharp left Weezer that his bands debut album would have more staying power than anything Weezer did after he left?

12. Soul Position - Mic Control

You know, I didn’t really like Blueprint this first time I heard him. It always seemed like he wasn’t quite on the beat. After seeing him a few time and listening to Unlimited a dozen times I figured out how he was rolling. RJ and Al are certainly onto something.

13. The Rolling Stones - Play With Fire

I’m a big fan of Wes Anderson’s films (as are most twenty-somethings with, um, “hipster-ish leanings"). He always uses music so well in his films, even if he has some trouble getting his head out of the 60’s. This one is brilliantly deployed in The Darjeeling Limited. Definitely a soundtrack worth checking out.

14. Deltron 3030 - Madness

This album is about 5 songs too long, but damn if Del doesn’t have a flow that sounds great in my car. It seems like everyone who works with Dan The Automater only works with him once. I’m not exactly sure why that is. That tempo change hook is a stroke of genius.

15. Motion City Soundtrack - Can’t Finish What You Started

I must be the oldest Motion City Soundtrack fan in the world by at least 5 years. Their hooks are so good though. If you ever see me flying down 94 bobbing my head side to side like a 15 year old girl who just discovered pop music, you should assume I’m listening to Motion City.

16. Belle & Sebastian - Stay Loose

The last song off of Dear Catastrophe Waitress finds Stuart Murdoch and the band (Collective? Loose Association Of Well Dressed Scots?) doing their best Talking Heads impression. They pull if off a lot better than a lot of these new bands whose sole goal seems to be a credible Talking Heads impression. Well played, lads.

Flatbasset - October '09

What? You thought just because I'd gone playlist crazy I'd ignore my monthly posts? You ain't know I'm putting in work? These cats ain't inform you? I ain't playin' here! I ain't playin' this year!

Flatbasset - October '09


01. David Bowie - Space Oddity

I don’t know exactly when it happened, but it struck me at some point that this is probably my answer to the question, “What’s your favorite song?” What’s so great about it? Tough to say. It’s a killer sing along song. It has two distinctly different parts, tied together well. It’s lyrics are nonsensical, yet kind of relatable. It’s the only song I’ve ever heard that is actually improved by the presence of a saxophone. It helps you separate which people you can trust if a fire breaks out in your bar. Fuck it, I dunno. David Bowie is my homey.

02. Red Pens - Street Issue

This is my favorite Minnesotan-based song of the month. That being said, isn’t it a little suspicious that just a year ago Wavves blew up with a single, distortion-filled guitar-and-primitive-drum sound and now Red Pens are blowing up the Twin Cities? I’m not trying to knock ‘em. Hell, the song’s on here, innit? Just a little suspicious, that’s all.

03. Steely Dan - Peg

Fucking classic. This one’s for you-know-who.

04. Drag The River - Until I Say So

Back when All was still a functioning entity, they turned this Chad Price song into one of the best songs off their Mass Nerder album. I always had the sense that when each of the members of All brought their songs to the table, running it trough the other three members sensibilities was a positive thing, giving the songs their distinctive Allular feel. This one makes me question that whole theory. Clearly, Chad’s DTR version is much better.

Sidenote to Sarah Elise: I would have loved to see just how far your eyes rolled when this song came on.

05. Morrissey & Siouxsie - Interlude

Lil’ Squawk Box shuffled to this song a few weeks back and it blew me away. I had forgot it existed. In fact, given Morrissey’s reclusive and, let’s face it, egotistical, nature, the fact that this song even exists is hard to fathom. Yeah, it’s typically lovelorn, but here we have Morrissey actually sharing the spotlight. Sharing! When has that ever happened? Ever? Not only that, but he’s even a little overshadowed by Siouxsie. If this same song was presented to him today with a comparable pop star (um… I don’t even know who’s comparable. Lucinda Williams? Chan Marhsall?) there is absolutely no way he’d agree to it.

06. Brother Ali - Best @ It (w/Freeway & Joell Ortiz)

Ali’s new album still hasn’t completely grown on me. He’s a much more interesting MC when he’s talking about himself rather than telling stories. I do love his little shot at Weezy and Yeezy on this one.

Freeway has played his cards very well. He couldn’t quite make it in the mainstream, but in his defense he was rolling in a posse with Jigga and Kanye. I mean, that’s not a lot of breathing room. Still, with the music industry gone sideways, he went back underground and hitched his wagon to Brother Ali & Jake One (remember how good “The Truth” is?). Tell me this is a bad career move.

07. Sloan - Try To Make It

A pop song about getting invited to go out with your friends, kind of wanting to, but ultimately deciding that staying in is more fun than going out? I haven’t been able to relate to a song this well since The Ying Yang Twins “Wait (TheWhisper Song).” I’m glad Sloan gets their props up north. These guys are so good. If you’re ever at Cheapo, I highly suggest you find a $4.95 copy of A-Sides Win: Singles 1992-2005.

08. Kill The Vultures - Moonshine

I caught Kill The Vultures a couple months back, just before The Uptown Bar closed. It was just Crescent Moon and his DJ and about 30 of us in the bar and it was still a fantastic show. I definitely get the impression that Crescent Moon has realized that KTV is just too rough to ever get digested by the mainstream, so he’s doing it for the love of it and the respect of the people who have taken the time to embrace it. At least that’s the vibe I get. Maybe he’s just pissed off. Tough call.

09. Dirty Pretty Things - Doctors And Dealers

Carl Barat was always the more driven, less artistically exciting half of The Libertines. Without Pete Doherty, he and what was left of The Libertines managed to put out a great album, Waterloo To Anywhere, as Dirty Pretty Things. This is one of my favorite British albums of the last few years. Sadly, I heard that the band has broken up. Who would have thought Babyshambles would outlast… well, anyone really?

10. Hockey - Too Fake

My favorite Current song from September. I know it’s just snarky, hipster bullshit, but when the chorus kicks in with those keyboards… mmmm… The fact that the band is named Hockey doesn’t hurt either.

11. Local H - All The Kids Are Right

If you have any taste at all you were probably sick of this song 5 years ago. I love the premise of this song. It’s crazy, fan-based, fourth-wall-breaking premise is a thing of beauty. I still can’t figure out if, “They won’t wear our t-shirts now…” is supposed to be an asshole thing to say (like, “Oh, I’m really hurt that you won’t wear our t-shirts”) or if it’s something that a young Scott Lucas would have taken seriously (like, “I really loved Big Black, but I met them and they were assholes. I’m never wearing this shirt again.”). Plus, I miss Joe.

12. MK Larada - Teddy Bear And A Tazer

MK Larada is the man behind the scenes when it comes to Doomtree. He has one album out under his own name titled Break In Two: Music For B-People. It’s like thirty tracks without a break that is meant to be the soundtrack for a breakdancing party. This track is the only time anyone else from Doomtree turns up and it’s the highlight of the album.

13. The Killers - Under The Gun

I haven’t heard the latest Killers record yet, but I’ve heard bad things. That’s why I’m surprised that Sawdust, their collection of b-sides from their first couple albums, is so great. Clearly, these guys had quality songs to spare (did you see that? That was my hipster cred getting up and leaving the room).

14. Elvis Presley - (Marie’s The Name) His Latest Flame

I wonder if Elvis' faith in love is still devout?

15. The Neptunes - Popular Thug

Say what you want about Pharrell the pop star, but don’t knock The Neptunes beat making ability. Clones, their album full of guest MC’s is pretty spotty rhyme-wise (what MC would bring his A game to someone else’s album?), but the beats are phenomenal.

I really can’t believe Nas and Kelis couldn’t make their marriage last. How was Kelis not aware that Nas was, in fact, a popular thug? Tough break. Back to the yard, girl.

16. Silver Jews - Sleeping Is The Only Love

I’ve really come around on the Silver Jews lately. I don’t know exactly why. David Berman seems to share a similar screwball sensibilities with people like Aesop Rock, Buck 65, & Yoni Wolf. Except it’s a little countrified. For some reason that’s the type of stuff I’m digging right now.

17. Dillinger Four - Gainseville

Unfortunately, it felt nothing like summer this October. Damnit Erik Funk! You jinxed it!

In My Mind My Dreams Are Real...

I gave up video games years ago. I had an epiphany one day while I was on my laptop updating the spreadsheet containing the running statistics of four seasons worth of video game Minnesota Wild seasons featuring versions of my friends I’d created and given nearly inhuman hockey skills. It struck me as I was updating these stats that if any girl I dated eventually asked about this, and that this would probably be the last conversation I would ever have with that girl. For some reason winning four straight Norris trophies is not that impressive. I wonder if Bobby Orr had this problem?

Anyway, over the last couple of weeks I’ve read glowing review after glowing review of the new Rock Band: The Beatles game and I’ll admit, I’m intrigued, especially by the story mode (evidently you play at The Cavern Club in Hamburg, The Ed Sullivan Show, Abbey Road…). I’ve never played either Rock Band or Guitar Hero. In fact, I don’t own a television or a video game console. If I do decide I want to see what all the fuss is about I’m going to be looking at a roughly $400 tab. Frankly, I don’t care that much. At least not about The Beatles. This got me thinking about what bands would make me willing to throw down $400 just for the privilege of living their story and singing their songs with Margo in my living room. I came up with these 15. They’re judged on 5 criteria (Rating 1-10): Instrumental Complexity, Vocal Complexity, Storyline, Fun Factor, and the inevitable X Factor. I'm also working under the assumption that their entire catalog would be included in the game.

15. Rock Band: The Hold Steady

Instrumental Complexity: 4. While the songs aren’t the most complicated, Tad Kubler does manage to pull off a few great solos. Plus you’ll have to figure out how to play a Rock Band harpsichord for “One For The Cutters.”

Vocal Complexity: 2. Let’s be honest, we can all sing like Craig Finn. The highs ain’t high and the lows ain’t low. Adding a couple people for the backing vocals on “Chips Ahoy!” and “Slapped Actress" would help liven things up.

Storyline: 1. Move to New York, start band. Unless they decide to use the graphic capabilities to tell the story that’s told in The Hold Steady’s songs, in which case the score hits a 9. Who wouldn’t want to see a digitally rendered Charlemagne in sweatpants?

Fun Factor: 8. The Hold Steady is a band designed for rolled down windows and steering wheel drumming.

X Factor: 7. There are very few in betweens when it comes to Hold Steady fans. Get 4 or 5 diehards into your apartment and stock the fridge with PBR.

Party Track: Massive Nights (Just so the whole room could get in on the chorus)

14. Rock Band: TV On The Radio

Instrumental Complexity: 8. Half the time I can’t tell what the fuck’s going on. As long as I get to play whatever makes that elephant noise at the beginning of “I Was A Lover.”

Vocal Complexity: 6. Tunde Adebimpe and Kyp Malone are vastly overrated as vocalists. Still, a song like “Province” would be plenty of fun with a couple of mics.

Storyline: 0. Already in New York, start band, never pay any dues because you’re adored by critics from the beginning. Rough.

Fun Factor: 7. TV On The Radio’s catalog runs the gambit from rockers (“Wolf Like Me”) to dancy (“Crying”). If nothing else this game would keep your toes. Plus you’d have to get about 4 drum kits and some rhythmic friends to play “A Method.”

X Factor: 8. Bring a date over and duet on “Lover’s Day.” If you can pull that off, you’re gold.

Party Track: “Halfway Home” (Make all your friends do the “buh buh buh ba ba ba ba buh” bit)

13. Rock Band: The White Stripes

Instrumental Complexity: 5. I know, Jack White’s hellbent on proving he’s the best guitar player on earth and you’d be left to figure out the solos. Still, the first half of this catalog is incredibly simple.

Vocal Complexity: 7. Between the high notes and the affectations, Jack White is one tough nut to crack.

Storyline: 6. A couple of left turns (moving to Nashville, Jack breaks hand, Meg has a panic attack, Brendan Benson shows up in the middle of the game for no discernible reason) make this one more interesting than you might think. You better learn to love the Conan O’Brien set though.

Fun Factor: 6: Tough one. On the one hand, the songs are not that difficult and loads of fun. It’s been like 7 years and I’m still not sick of “Black Math.” On the other hand, only room for two people. Unless you have a bigger room.

X Factor: I hope you have a wardrobe heavy on black and red.

Party Track: “It’s True That We Love One Another” Better have a couple mics.

12. Rock Band: Editors/Interpol

Instrumental Complexity: 2. Guitar player, can you do angular? Bass player, can you do pulsing?

Vocal Complexity: 4. Vocalist, have you ever heard of Ian Curtis?

Storyline: 3. The most interesting thing about either of these bands is that they claim to not be each other.

Fun Factor: 7. I make fun, but between the two of them there are at least 20 tracks that absolutely kill. “Slow Hands,” “The Heinrich Maneuver,” “Smoker Outside The Hospital,” “Munich…” It would be a good time.

X Factor: 6. The Carlos D animated character would be priceless.

Party Track: “Obstacle 1” (Especially when the song climaxes and falls back to earth during the “she floats away” bit).

11. Rock Band: The Clash

Instrumental Complexity: 7. Runs the gambit from deceptively simple (“Clash City Rockers”) to needlessly, uninterestingly complex (pretty much all of “Sandinista.”)

Vocal Complexity: 4. Not the most technically difficult, but who doesn't love telling the Queen to sod off?

Storyline: 3. A little drab, but it would be pretty cool to see the foggy waterfront from the “London Calling” video and unveiling that big The Clash! banner from the top of the Capitol Records building.

Fun Factor: 5. Really only fun until the end of London Calling. If they didn’t give a fuck about making Cut The Crap you certainly don’t have to give a fuck playing along.

X Factor: 7. Watching your friend sing, “He who fucks nuns will later join the church!”

Party Track: “Rock The Casbah” (I really want to say “Train In Vain,” but you know this will get everyone going.)

10. Rock Band: Oasis

Instrumental Complexity: 3. Everyone knows that a good chunk of Oasis’ charm comes from the fact that it’s just big, stupid rock n’ roll.

Vocal Complexity: 4. “Sun-she-yiiine” Again, not rocket science, but a damn good time.

Storyline: 7. You’d get to play all those big Glastonbury gigs. Plus, that unplugged gig where Liam sat and heckled Noel. Bonus points for whoever can come up with the most creative way to insult Blur and/or your own brother.

Fun Factor: 8. The number of tracks that will get you and your friends going is ridiculous. “Live Forever,” “Supersonic,” “Wonderwall,” “Don’t Look Back In Anger…” Classic.

X Factor: 5. The songs get noticeably worse as the game progresses. If you want to make things interesting you could always tackle whoever’s playing Noel during the first verse of “(What’s The Story?) Morning Glory?”

Party Track: “Champagne Supernova” (Honestly, who hasn’t got drunk and sung this song with their friends anyway?)

9. Rock Band: Pixies

Instrumental Complexity: 7. Frank Black gets too much credit for this band’s schizo energy. Without Joey Santiago’s guitar work Black Francis would just be Isaac Brock.

Vocal Complexity: 7. That equation works both ways though. Black’s yelping to crooning to barking to yelling style is not easily imitated (at least not well). Just imagine trying to sing something like “Broken Face” or “Wild Honey Pie.” Plus, you HAVE to have a female to sing Kim Deal’s parts. You can’t have the echoey bit from “Where Is My Mind” without a good Kim Deal.

Storyline: 4. Not the most interesting. You’d get to play in Steve Albini’s studio? Is that cool? It would be cool to see the digitally rendered fatter, balder reunion tour Pixies though.

Fun Factor: 7. You’d only be able to invite people 26 or older, but singing “Here Comes Your Man” with a few friends would be a ball.

X Factor: 4. If you nail enough songs you unlock the phone number to send the same fax Frank Black sent to notify everyone else that the band was done.

Party Track: “Monkey Gone To Heaven” (Gaaahhd is seven!)

8. Rock Band: The Mars Volta

Instrumental Complexity: 10. I can barely process those jazz-to-metal guitar freakouts while listening to the albums let alone trying to play along.

Vocal Complexity: 10. Godspeed you! aspiring prog-rock vocalists.

Storyline: 9. While I doubt much of the mythology Cedric Bixler-Zavala and Omar Rodriguez-Lopez have spun around the content of their albums, it would be fun to see the stories of dead friends diaries, comatose suicidal artists, and Israeli legends all played out. And the drugs. Don’t forget the drugs.

Fun Factor: 3. Let’s face it, The Mars Volta is not a band for everyone. Logically, their Rock Band would not be a Rock Band for everyone. However, the diehards would love it. I think that Rock Band junkies unfamiliar with the band would learn to love it for the intricacies as well.

X Factor: 5. Can you grow an afro?

Party Track: “The Widow” (I guess?)

7. Rock Band: Blur

Instrumental Complexity: 8. Deceptively high for a band known for “Song 2” and “Park Life.” Graham Coxon was no slouch though. Good luck with the second half of 13.

Vocal Complexity: 8. Again, deceptively high. Just because Damon Albarn is able to sound so casual in his style doesn’t mean he is being casual. Trying singing along to “Beetlebum” sometime. Make sure no one is in the car with you.

Storyline: 6. Blur used their songs to tell stories of the English middle- and lower-class. I’m guessing they may have done this because their lives were not that exciting. Some “Reader Meets Author” type stuff. It might be fun to watch the Damon Albarn character mope around after he broke up with Justine Frischmann.

Fun Factor: 9. Just try to picture yourself and a couple of friends singing “Coffee & TV.” Honestly, how much fun would that be?

X Factor: 6. Do you have friends who knew who Blur were before “Song 2” broke? If you don’t, then this game may not be so fun.

Party Track: “Song 2” (If you’re in America), “Girls & Boys” (If you’re in the UK)

6. Rock Band: Low

Instrumental Complexity: 8. Low is the perfect band to flip Rock Band on its head. Their music is all about subtlety. Speed counts for nothing. Pacing is everything.

Vocal Complexity: 8. Same story. Alan Sparhawk and Mimi Parker’s spare, sparse harmonies would reward those who understand patience and attention to detail.

Storyline: 1. I love Duluth as much as the next guy, but c’mon…

Fun Factor: 5. I put this in the middle because people who either A) Like Low or B) Would like to see Rock Band turned on its side would probably think this game was incredible. People who have never played Rock Band or (unfathomably) dislike Duluth would probably be bored to tears.

Party Track: “Broadway (So Many People)” (An endurance test based on structure, pacing, harmonies, and the rewards of what isn’t being said.)

5. Rock Band: Prince

Instrumental Complexity: 8. Prince is either the most underrated or overrated guitar player on Earth (depending on your view of guitars and Earth). Since Rock Band has become a generation defining example of instrumental prowess, we’ll settle this once and for all.

Vocal Complexity: 7. Very little in the way of backing vocals, but whoever you put in charge of singing better know their way around some high notes.

Storyline: 9. Digitally rendered First Avenue! Morris Day and his black man-servant Jerome! Writing “Slave” on your face while simultaneously changing your name to an unpronounceable symbol. Super Bowl halftime show. Sex with a list of “protégés” much too long for this space. Good times.

Fun Factor: 10. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here together to celebrate this thing called life…” Every party should start like that.

X Factor: 7. The game would have to have an option for “Hits” & “Everything Else.”

Party Track: “Purple Rain” (This is the second best drunken singalong song ever written. Sidenote to Pheezy: Remember Trash Bar? Tell me I’m wrong.)

4. Rock Band: Radiohead

Instrumental Complexity: 10. Starts out simple enough, then grows and grows until you’re trying to figure out how the fuck to play “Treefingers”

Vocal Complexity: 9. There’s a reason Thom Yorke is always on the top of lists of the best vocalists of our time. No one can do what he does. It would be fun to try though.

Storyline: 3. The one big drawback of this game. The Radiohead story is just not that interesting. Five guys who turn up every couple of years and rewrite what “pop music” means.

Fun Factor: 9. I was going to put this lower, but the fact that these songs are universally beloved coupled with watching your friends do that twitchy Thom Yorke dance bumped it way up.

X Factor: Once you beat the “Expert” level your reward will be finding out exactly what the fuck that guy said at the end of the “Just” video.

Party Track: “Creep” (I’m sorry, but you know I’m right.)

3. Rock Band: Wilco

Instrumental Complexity: 7. Much like the Radiohead model, the tracks start nice and simple and grow increasingly more complicated (at least until Sky Blue Sky). Summerteeth, Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, and A Ghost Is Born will leave plenty of tricks to be figured out.

Vocal Complexity: 7. Not unlike the Damon Albarn model. Jeff Tweedy’s smoky rasp comes off casual and easy, but turn the radio down and try to sing along with “Ashes Of American Flags.” It’s not pretty.

Storyline: 7. After every album you get to replace at least one band member.

Fun Factor: 8. While a lot of these songs are lyrically dark, they can be a lot of fun to sing (case in point: “Say You Miss Me.”) Plus, I’ve been listening to these guys like crazy for years and I’ve yet to get sick of them.

X Factor: 6. Every half an hour you get to press the “Ignore” button on virtual Jeff Tweedy’s phone when the caller ID comes up “Jay Farrar.”

Party Track: “I’m A Wheel” (Wilco usually doesn’t play this fast. They should do it more often.)

2. Rock Band: The Replacements

Instrumental Complexity: 7. Half the time I don’t think Bob Stinson had any idea how he was tearing off those solos. Good luck.

Vocal Complexity: 6. Paul Westerberg’s rasp is one of a kind. And his melodies are very, very underrated. Nailing the hooks on “Kiss Me On The Bus” or “I Will Dare” is a lot more difficult than it seems.

Storyline: 9. Drugs, alcohol, every venue in the Twin Cities, Bob Stinson in drag, drugs, on stage fights, five night stand at the Entry, firing Bob Stinson, alcohol, signing to a major label, alcohol, playing the American Music Awards, alcohol, opening for Tom Petty, drugs, breaking up, alcohol…

Fun Factor: 10. It’s tough to think of a band that would suit this game any better. From the early punk stuff (“Shiftless When Idle”) to the mid-period zenith (“Alex Chilton”) to the dark pop at the end (“Achin’ To Be”), this whole catalog was built for air guitars and singalongs.

X Factor: 9. Game comes packaged with two flannel shirts, a carton of Camel Lights, and two cases of Premium. Enjoy the ride.

Party Track: “Bastards Of Young” (Just to hear the whole room do the scream at the beginning.)

I can’t believe you actually read this far. Thanks. You kick ass.

1. Rock Band: The Smiths/Morrissey

Instrumental Complexity: 9. If it took Jonny Marr seven different guitar bits to make “Still Ill,” just imagine trying to reassemble it with one fake guitar. Also, Andy Rourke and Mike Joyce were no slouches.

Vocal Complexity: 10. Lord knows, we all have our own version of “Morrissey” that turns up everytime “Hand In Glove” comes on. I’m willing to bet that most of us aren’t even close.

Storyline: 7. Personally, I’d put it at a 10, but I’ve read 3 books detailing the career of The Smiths. I hope you enjoy hiring managers and bickering with GeoffTravis.

Fun Factor: 10. The catalog is soooo deep. You could probably stretch this into two games if you wanted. You could even package The Smiths version with a tacky badge.

X Factor: 9. Unless you live in England, this catalog may not be well known. However, if you do have a few Mozzer loving friends, I can’t imagine anything more fun than watching them sing “Bigmouth Strikes Again” with a bouquet of flowers in their back pocket.

Party Track: The Smiths “There Is A Light That Never Goes Out” (Close second: “Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others”) Mozzer “Suedehead” (“I am a-so sick-en-da nowwww”)

Well, that’s that. You’re never getting those 15 minutes back. Check back again when they figure out a good way to make a hip-hop version of Rock Band.