I'm Just Tryin' To Put It Down for My Hometown...

If you’ve been reading FlatBasset for a while you know that I’m a big, big fan of listing and ranking things. This is especially true in regards to music. This is why I’m such a big Last.FM fan. That’s pretty much all it is.

Well, to celebrate the upcoming release of Atmosphere’s new album The Family Sign (April 12^th) I thought I’d have a go at counting down my 20 favorite Atmosphere songs.

Now, I know that a lot of people in MPLS take pleasure in lashing out at Atmosphere. I guess I don’t really understand why this is. I mean, if you don’t like the records, that’s fine. However, people seem to take shots at them simply for being successful. It seems to me that they’ve managed to become incredibly successful on their own terms. Admittedly, I don’t know all the details, but if someone was pulling strings behind the scenes, they didn’t do a very good job. Seems to be Atmosphere could be a lot bigger if they had they played the game by the mainstream’s rules.

The first link below is to all of the songs in one giant mp3, so if you’re not overly-familiar with Atmosphere, just download this and let it play. Each of the songs also has its own mp3 link. Just click the link, type the letter/number combo. Wait 45 seconds and click download.

Flatbasset - The Best Of Atmosphere

First, 10 who missed the cut:

20. Onemosphere

19. Dreamer

18. One Of A Kind

17. Like Today

16. Yesterday

15. Tears For The Sheep

14. Reflections

13. You

12. Watch Out

11. Shhh…

10. Get Fly (You Can’t Imagine How Much Fun We’re Having)

Since they’re constantly pushing the notion that Atmosphere is an “emo-rap” outfit, songs like “Get Fly” are conveniently forgotten by most critics. This is really a shame as, when Slug’s feeling positive, he’s capable of putting together a hell of a song.

If you’ve been listening to the mix so far, you’ve probably noticed that Atmosphere is usually at their best when Ant is constructing beats from piano loops. This is a recurring theme. This song probably stands as the best Atmosphere song to blast with the windows down on 94.

Key Lyric: “Take off the mask, let it all collapse, empty the pack and watch your wings grow back…”

09. Sunshine (Sad Clown Bad Summer)

Admittedly, I’m partial to this song because I live in Uptown. As I’m likely to say roughly a thousand times between March and May, there is not better place on Earth than the south side of Minneapolis in the spring. The narrative of the story finds Slug coping with a hangover to stepping out into the sunshine of a MPLS summer to enjoying the simple things in life (a bike, a barbecue, women in sundresses, the restorative power of nature).

Sidenote: Sad Clown Bad Summer was one of the EP’s that came out between YCIHMFWH and When Life Gives You Lemons. Obviously, Slug’s style went from telling his story to telling other people’s stories on those two albums. A song like “Sunshine” is almost like a test run for changing the narrative style. It’s still his story, but you can see him trying to pull other characters into the picture.

I love the way Ant’s beat kinda wobbles off key, making it sound like this song could’ve come from a 60 year old slab of vinyl. Songs like this are timeless.

Key Lyric: “Ain’t nothin’ like the sound of the leaves when the breeze penetrates these South Side trees…”

08. In Her Music Box (When Life Gives You Lemons…)

I forget where I read it (Pitchfork? Gimme Noise?), but I remember somebody wrote that this song was the first Atmosphere song that sounds like it could have Mary J. Blige singing the hook. That’s maybe the worst idea ever, but I can see the writer’s point.

The story of a young daughter riding around in the back of her dad’s car as he’s, “weaving down Lake Street,” singing along to the radio and eating fast food is, again, far from the “emo-rap” tag that’s dogged Atmosphere. You can see that Slug still loves to rap about himself, but the storytelling that developed over the years leading up to WLGYL have taught him how to tell a story about himself through someone else’s eyes (in this case, a daughter’s).

Ant’s beat is a thing of beauty. Obviously, it manages to incorporate the sound of the titular music box, but also has just enough low end that it sounds like it could be coming out of a car cruising around Uptown. I’m sure it’s not easy to craft a beat that straddles the line between youthful innocence and adult cynicism. What’s really amazing, in this regard, is the way that Slug’s lyrics absolutely wouldn’t work without this beat and vice versa. The flute solo that closes out the song is the perfect coda.

Key Lyric: “She sings along like dad does, she knows all the words but she leaves out the bad ones, except ‘bitch,’she always says ‘bitch’ because it makes her daddy laugh, it’s her magic trick…”

07. Modern Man’s Hustle (God Loves Ugly)

The appeal of this song owes a lot to the sequencing of its parent album. For 14 tracks across God Loves Ugly Slug is mercilessly negative, lashing out at women, other rappers, & himself with equal vitriol. The opening of this song (“The first time I met the devil was at a Motel 6…”) implies that we’re in for more of the same. When that pseudo-verse suddenly vanishes into Ant’s laid back beat, it’s like a ray of sunshine cutting through a day of grey clouds.

Is it just me or does this beat sound like what G-Funk would’ve sounded like if Dr. Dre had been from Minneapolis?

Like I mentioned earlier, Slug had been taking shots at everyone and everything over the album, threatening to cut ties with every woman who’s done him wrong (or that he’s done wrong) and even going so far as to embrace his own ugliness. While he obviously still has issues with women on this song, it’s refreshing to hear him concede that, “You must hold on to anyone that wants you…” While he directs this statement to the vague, “Girl,” it’s obviously a two-way bit of advice. Basically, a part of both parties drives each other nuts, but life is too short for grudges.

Key Lyric: “Bundle up in my mittens and coat, as cold as it gets I’ll keep your winter afloat, so let the snow fall…”

06. Say Hey There (You Can’t Imagine How Much Fun We’re Having)

Alright, even though I’ve been trying to poke holes in the “emo-rap” stereotype, sometimes you just have to embrace it. “Say Hey There” is one of the most epic angry break up songs in hip-hop. While Slug has spent plenty of time over his career being angry with women, this one stands up as the most pointed of his attacks. I’m sure it’s not true, but you get the impression that he sat down immediately after having a fight with this woman and down all the scattered, irrational thoughts that come with the situation. It’s filled with the type of things you say during a fight and completely regret once things have calmed back down.

The dark brooding piano lends itself to the slow burning anger.In the third verse, when it hits that dramatic pause, it’s as if something from the unspoken other half of the argument has finally crossed the line, coming back to life with both Ant’s beat & Slug’s lyrics taking a darker and angrier tone.

Personal Sidenote: During one of those awkward periods after a break up, when you’re still in the silly “We’ll still be friends,” phase, I put this song on a mixtape for my ex. You’ll never believe it, but we did not remain friends.

Key Lyric: “I’m returning this Bleeding Heart’s Club membership card ‘cause I want no mothafuckin’ part of it…”

05. Lyndale Avenue User’s Manual (Sad Clown Bad Fall)

I’ll be honest; this one is a strictly personal selection. A song titled “Lyndale Avenue User’s Manual” is bound to hit my heart because, as you all well know, Lyndale Avenue is one of the two loves of my life. The whole song is very vague lyrically, however, speaking as someone who lives off Lyndale, it’s easy to listen to turn it into a narrative about the passive-aggressive characters up and down my neighborhood, as, not only am I familiar with them, I AM them. I mean, I did move here to change and make a new life. Twice.

I’ve said before that I’m not a fan of the rising prominence Nathan Collis’ guitar work has played in recent Atmosphere songs, this beat is a great example of the extra layer he can bring. Coupled with Ant’s drums and those floating keyboards, they manage to create the perfect, um, atmosphere of a night on my street.

Key Lyric: “We all need somethin’ we can stake the blame on, it can’t be your dance that made this rainstorm, it must be the alcohol, and you hate this place ‘cause the town too small…”

04. The Woman With The Tattooed Hands (Lucy Ford)

For whatever reason, indie rappers always seem to get stuck with one song that will always define them. Aesop Rock’s “Daylight,” Brother Ali’s “Forest Whitiker,” Sage Francis’ “Runaways,” etc… If Atmosphere is stuck with one song that will forever define them, it’s this one.

Ant’s beat continually descends down the piano only to come back to the top with a dash of strings. Listen to it carefully and you’ll notice that it’s incredibly simple. The whole song just keeps on this loop.

The fact that the beat never really changes adds an extra dimension to Slug’s tale of watching a woman masturbate. The song clearly has three stages (the realistic set up, the surreal action, the chorus/outro) and the beat never changes during any of them. It’s all in the delivery.

Back in the Lucy Ford days, Slug’s verses were much more cryptic than they are on latest albums. This song acts as a nice bridge between the two eras. While Slug’s woman issues are well documented, “The Woman With The Tattooed Hands” stands as his most nuanced and vexing portrayal of the confusion that women present.

Key Lyric: “On the right hand she had a tattoo of a nude girl, she claimed it is what god resembled, but on the left she had a mirrored image of the same female, and this one, she claimed, looked like the devil…”

03. Always Coming Back Home To You (Seven’s Travels)

A brief history of being a twenty-something in South MPLS. I’m partial to this one too, as I know exactly what Walgreens Slug’s talking about. The fingerprints of a Minnesotan are all over this one. The passive-aggressiveness of the characters is immediately relatable. The store is being held up, the store clerk, “doesn’t look the type to play superhero.” The woman leaving the deli, “gave me a glance that said, ‘Man could be an angel but he’s gotta take a chance.’” (Note she didn’t actually say anything, just glanced. I KNOW that glance like the back of my hand). The kid with the gun makes it clear that, “it’s not mine, I promise.” Even Slug, once he takes the gun, immediately looks for somewhere to leave it, putting it in a mailbox. All of these are snapshots that feel like home. No direct conversation, no direct action, just everybody living their life and choosing steady anonymity over a big risk.

What truly hits home about “ACBHTY” is that it’s the audio equivalent of what it feels like to walk down Lyndale Avenue at night in the middle of winter. You’re almost always alone and no one talks to anyone. It’s lonely. It’ll leave you lost in your own head to the point where, “one by one” watching “every constellation die” seems entirely reasonable (especially if you’ve had some brandy). You take pride in it, but that pride is rooted in the difficulty of frozen solitude.

The second half of the song turns intensely personal as Slug “takes a right on Lyndale” and gives us a quick tour of his youth. “Had my Lake Street pride for three decades, these alleyways and these street lights have seen my best days,” he reminds us. I’m sure lines like this can be translated to anybody’s city, but speaking as someone who lives here and loves it with all his heart, this one always gets to me.

Key Lyric: “No matter where I go, no matter what I do, I’m always coming back home to you…”

02. Don’t Forget (Sad Clown Bad Summer)

If “Always Coming Back Home To You” is the “Minnesota Winter” version (downbeat, introspective) of growing up and living in MPLS, then “Don’t Forget” is the “Minnesota Summer” version (upbeat, bringing everyone on board).

While autobiographically describing the effects hip hop had on his formative years, “Don’t Forget,” perfectly encapsulates the joys of MPLS when the sun’s shining and everything’s going well. Lots of people, crazy adventures, building camaraderie with your fellow winter survivors… This is why Minneapolis is the best place on earth in the summer.

Not to beat a dead horse, but Ant crushes it again with the pianos. This time it’s a nice, upbeat jaunt that matches Slug’s narrative perfectly. It’s easy to hear this as the kind of beat that Slug was driving around listening to back in 10^th grade.

If you’re reading this blog, you’re probably a bit of a music junkie like myself. While there’s a good chance none of us will ever grow up to make money off of music, we were all shaped by the music of those teenage years. I mean, if you’re right around 30 it’s easy to remember sitting by the radio and recording songs off the radio.

Key Lyric: “When I look in the rearview now, what would I see if I didn’t have the music in my history?”

01. Smart Went Crazy (You Can’t Imagine How Much Fun We’re Having)

Even after years and years of listening this one still stands up as my favorite.

First of all, it’s a great beat. Charlie Watts is famous for once claiming that the best drummers know when not to play. That seems to be And and Nate’s approach to this beat. The guitar just loops over some bouncy bass and a sample that states, simply, “Yeah, oh yeah…” It’s a lesson in restraint that young producers would be wise to acknowledge.

Slugs lyrics, meanwhile, encapsulate pretty much every different side that he’s shown us over the years.

The Abstractionist: “Sunset, sailboat, set course for hell, a cross and a hammer but you’ll have to get some nails…”

The Realist: “I”ve got a few blocks left before I reach my destination and retrieve my breath…”

The Angry Young Man: “I sting like a first divorce or them first Newports, whatever hurts you more…”

The Sexual Deviant: “Poor taste got passed off as gourmet, this beer is foreplay, we’ll meet up at your place…”

The Trailblazer: “Snuck round back to disarm the alarm from the plantation to the reservation to the farm…”

The Loyalist: “Proud to know ya, Minnesota, never sold coke and I never had to hold a pistol…”

Not does the song serve as a three-dimensional portrait of Slug the person, it also, somehow, creates a collage of images that encapsulate what it feels like to be 30 something in MPLS. Perhaps this is why it still speaks to me.

To reference my renowned “big picture” theory, the song has all the ups and downs that come with barely getting by in this city. Taken on their own, it seems like a lot to process. However, much like “Being a 30 year old in Uptown” provides the unchanging frame for my experiences, Ant’s beat provides the frame for images projected by Slug. This song could have splintered a million different ways, but Ant’s “big picture” beat holds it all together.

Key Lyric: "Manipulated the entry, more user-friendly, now a city full of pain pills and tattoos defends me..."

Alright, I’m officially burnt out on Atmosphere until at least Soundset. I’ll leave you with the video for "Just For Show," the first single off of The Family Sign. Thanks for reading.

Flatbasset-March '11

Sorry I'm a month late with this one. I had put all of this together for February 1st - cut, print, good to go. However, over the next three weeks I was at the mercy of a non-functioning Spiekerboxxx. Believe me, even though February is the shortest month of the year, 28 days with no computer, not TV, no money, no new books, and weather so cold that it was a chore just to leave the house nearly killed me.

However, here we are. 20 more days and it's officially spring. But it's a marathon, not a sprint. To help with this last leg, here's March's mix. Enjoy!

Flatbasset-March '11

Flatbasset-January '11

Hopefully by now we've all gotten over our New Year's hangover and quit writing '2010' on our checks. So now we're into it, here's 60 solid minutes of Flatbasset to perk you up. Put it on while your shoveling the snow or re-decorating your apartment.

If you're new to the playlist (and hopefully some of you are. I've made a few new friends since October), This is essentially a mixtape of songs I was diggin' last month. Just click the link, type in the letter/number combo at the top of the Megaupload page, and enjoy.

Flatbasset - January '11

I'll be back at the beginning of February with pics and links to the individual mp3s.

Alright, by "February" I guess I meant "March." Anyway, here we go:

01. The Smiths - Hand In Glove

I put this one on the mix for two reasons.

First, I thought it was appropriate to start the New Year off with a classic. Frankly, they don’t get much more classic than this one.

Second, just before New Year’s, I met this incredible woman. So incredible, in fact, that I realized it was probably a bit too good to be true. Having spent 29 years trying to strike a balance between my natural optimism and my learned skepticism, the line “I know my luck too well and I’ll probably never see you again…” seemed relevant. More on this at the end of the post…

02. Yelawolf – Stage Lights (Remix)

Yelawolf is a dude from Alabama who’s been blowing up on the internet lately. I checked out his Trunk Muzik mixtape and wasn’t immediately impressed. However, the more I listened to it, the more it grew on me. While the difference between the best song on the album (this one, in my opinion) and the worst of them is pretty dramatic, when this dude has it going, he REALLY has it going.

03. The Get Up Kids – Action & Action

As I’ve mentioned dozens of times before, I grew up on a lot of emo stuff and I never quite got over it. You know how that goes. From those ages 14-19, everything just sticks in your head. You may outgrow it, but you’re never able to let it go entirely. The Get Up Kids are one of those bands, to the point where I finally went out and tracked down a copy of their album Something To Write Home About, a classic within the world of turn of the century power-pop-emo-punk.

This song specifically made me want to track down the record. I mean, a great pop music “fuck you” transcends time and, “Every mistake that I made I couldn’t have made without you…” is a pretty great “fuck you.”

Sidenote: I remember watching the video for this song with Sarah Elise on 120 Minutes way back in the day. I’m sure she was rolling her eyes the entire time, but I couldn’t get enough of the guy singing into that dangling phone. Oddly, she and I have debated whether that phone scene was from this song or a Promise Ring song.

04. Cory Grindberg – This One Goes Out To Frankfurt

Cory Grindberg is one third of a Minneapolis group of beat makers known as Audio Perm. They recently won the TC Hip-Hop Awards “Album Of The Year” Award. Good stuff all the way around.

However, I discovered Cory Grindberg semi-randomly via Twitter (through the other TC hip-hop musicians I follow). I was not prepared for what I was getting into when I started following him. Highly, highly entertaining stuff. If you like tweets about how lame Northwestern is, how much fun it is “going ham,” or how terrible Wale is, I definitely suggest you follow him (@CoryGrindberg).

05. Electric Light Orchestra – Sweet Talkin’ Woman

You all know how much I love pop music with a good hook. It doesn’t get much poppier or hookier than ELO. I know a lot of people dismiss their music as kind of cheesy & empty, but I also know a lot of aspiring musicians who would kill to be able to write the type of earworm hooks that Jeff Lynne routinely produced.

Sidenote: Always thanks to Ms. Palmquist (a sweet talkin’ woman herself) for turning me on to ELO.

Sidenote II: There is a fantastic ELO tribute band that plays around MPLS all the time known as ELnO. I caught their show back before I owned an ELO record and still enjoyed it thoroughly. Check them out if you’re in my city.

06. Company Flow – Blind

I put this one on for the Doomtree fans who read my blog. To quote Murs, “If you don’t know your history I know you’re fake…”

07. Justin Timberlake – LoveStoned/I Think She Knows

For more than a decade, poking fun at Justin Timberlake was like shooting fish in a barrel. Obviously, the ‘NSync seemed pretty brainless in its time and hasn’t stood up particularly well. His first solo album Justified seemed to reinforce his the perception that he was a brainless white dude with “next Michael Jackson” aspirations. Even the “Cry Me A River” fuck off to Britney Spears came off as convoluted.

However, hooking up with Timbaland for this FutureSex/LoveSounds album was a stroke of genius. Obviously, Timbaland’s record as a producer speaks for itself. His bizarre beats have made stars of those who could keep up (Missy Elliott, Aaliyah) and made jokes out of those who couldn’t (Chris Cornell). Viewing a teaming with Timbaland as a test of his artistic credibility, Timberlake passes with flying colors. This 7 minute jam, with it’s souped-up beat boxing and guitar was outro is the perfect example that Timberlake may have been worthy of all those “next great pop star” proclamations.

Sidenote: Listening to this album all the way through, it’s clear that the only real difference between Har Mar Superstar and Justin Timberlake is very, very small. Evidently sllightly better beats and slightly less graphic verses are the margin between niche-indie star and international superstar.

08. The Verve – Sonnet

As the second song on The Verve’s Urban Hymns album (immediately following the mega-hit “Bittersweet Symphony), it probably goes down as the 90’s all time leader in “song that got played for 10 seconds before a different record was put on.” That’s a damn shame. With the possible exception of “Lucky Man,” this is my favorite song on what has stood up as one of the classic British albums of the last 30 years.

09. Shad – Keep Shining

I was listening to the K as I was shooting down 94E a few weeks back when this song came on. The beat seemed good and the first line of the song was, “I roll with clever broads, with goals like Federov.” As you can probably imagine, I was willing to buy whatever Shad had to say after that. I got home and tracked down a copy of his TSOL album. It’s quickly become one of my favorite hip-hop albums ever. I highly suggest everybody check it out.

10. Metric – Stadium Love

Metric has always kind of bothered me simply because they always seem to be trying soooo hard. The guys in the band look like they could be any three hipsters from any band in America. Emily Haines is always clumsily selling her sexiness. The records are unnecessarily cyptic. It all just seems so contrived.

That’s kind of why I like this song so much. I’m sure they called it “Stadium Love” for a reason. This one was meant to be turned up really, really loud. It would sound immaculate in a stadium (unless that stadium was the Target Center, in which case it would sound awful).

11. Doomtree – A Rickety Bridge

Pretty much the only recorded work released by Cecil Otter since his Rebel Yellow album came out a couple years ago. I love Cecil’s style. After star turns from P.O.S., Dessa, Paper Tiger, Lazerbeak, and, just this month, Sims, it must be about time for Cecil to step back into the spotlight. Hopefully this is just the tip of the iceberg.

12. Hüsker Dü – Could You Be The One?

Minnesota Classic

13. The Hood Internet – Stuntin’ Like Black Rock

You all know what a fan I am of mash ups. If you haven’t checked out The Hood Internet, you’re missing some of the finest mash ups out there. This one, obviously is a mash up of BlackRock & Lil’ Wayne & Birdman’s “Stuntin’ Like My Daddy.” If you tell me that you listened to this song and didn’t walk around the rest of the day rapping, “stuntin’ like my daddy, stuntin’ like my daddy…” then I’m going to have to call you out as a liar.

14. Chin Chin – Miami

I really like Chin Chin because they seem to have stolen a lot of their sound from Steely Dan. Hell, if you’re gonna steal

Sidenote: I downloaded their Go There With You EP for free. You know what label was giving it away? Def Jux! I love the internet.

15. Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Let Me Know

Alright, as I mentioned earlier, I met this incredible woman back around New Year’s. Now, the balance between “natural optimism” & “learned skepticism” is indeed a tough one to walk. As the line, “I know my luck too well…” implied, I had talked myself into skepticism regarding this woman. By the time I got to the end of the playlist, the pendulum had swung back to “natural optimism.”

I had hopes that, since I had told her about these playlists I put together on my blog, she would take the time to download it and listen to it. Now, as any mixtape junkie knows, the last song on the tape is the most important. Obviously, my hope was that the lingering sound of Karen O “calling out” to “let me know” would be a not so subtle message.

Well, let’s say that within the last few weeks the pendulum has, inevitably (I mean, it IS a pendulum) swung back to “learned skepticism.” Not only did she not download the mix, she didn’t even read the blog. Actually, that part is kind of funny. I’m assuming that means she’s probably not reading this either. I wonder if people are typing blogs about me that I’m ignoring… Wait, I’m getting off point. The lesson, as always: I’m an idiot.

Re-Evaluate The Songs...

As you know, I'm a music junkie. Specifically, mp3's (I don't even own a stereo, let alone a turntable, receiver, & speakers. Although if this writing ever pays off...). 4 or 5 years ago I became hopelessly addicted to a website called Last.fm, which lets me combine my love of music with my peculiar desire to rank things.

Last.fm is, supposedly, a social networking site (although I rarely use it as such). Mostly, it's just a site that keeps track of everything you listen to, suggests new bands, and posts shows in the area. Like I said, I'm a hopeless addict. You can check out my page here.

While checking up on it, y'know, um, daily, I remembered a questionnaire I had filled out on the site once regarding my Top 50 artists. I got bored today and decided to fill it out again based solely on my listening habits for 2010.

(Quick Disclaimer: This post may not be interesting to anybody that isn't me. Straight up blogging masturbation).

Here are my Top 50 for the year:

01. The Cribs

02. Kanye West

03. Atmosphere

04. Jay-Z

05. Arctic Monkeys

06. Sage Francis

07. Blur

08. Kid Cudi

09. Morrissey

10. The Hold Steady

11. Why?

12. Wale

13. Gorillaz

14. P.O.S.

15. Murs

16. Doomtree

17. Dessa

18. The Replacements

19. Aesop Rock

20. Wilco

21. The Streets

22. Taking Back Sunday

23. The Killers

24. Lifetime

25. Buck 65

26. Paul Westerberg

27. Les Savy Fav

28. Bloc Party

29. The Smiths

30. Art Brut

31. The Plastic Constellations

32. The Hood Internet

33. Lifter Puller

34. Descendents

35. The Stone Roses

36. Felt

37. The Strokes

38. Lupe Fiasco

39. Plain Ole Bill

40. Madvillain

41. Alkaline Trio

42. Dillinger Four

43. El-P

44. The Libertines

45. F. Stokes & Lazerbeak

46. All

47. Har Mar Superstar

48. Outkast

49. Babyshambles

50. BK-One

1. How did you get into 29?

My oldest friend StP Sarah tried in vein to turn me onto The Smiths back in highschool. Of course, I was much too concerned with when Lagwagon was coming to town to give a though to some old British band with an obnoxious lead singer.

Fast forward a couple of years. I was on a drive from Red Wing to Duluth and I really wanted something new to play on the drive. Oddly, when I pulled up to Best Buy the chorus from "Hand In Glove" turned up in my head (even though I hadn't heard it in at least three years). I picked up a copy of Louder Than Bombs and played it four times over the course of the 4 hour round trip.

Since then I've turned my brother into a Smiths devotee, dropped countless drinks while playing drunken iPod karaoke to their records, and even had sex with at least 3 different girls while listening to their records. Pretty fruitful relationship considering they've been broken up since I was 5.

2. What was the first song you ever heard by 22?

The first song I heard by Taking Back Sunday (like most of us, I think) was, "Cute Without The 'E' (Cut From The Team)). Their Tell All Your Friends album came out just as I was getting out of my punk rock phase, yet I'm still a fan of that one and the albums they've put out since. To someone who's not an emo fan, I'm sure they sound cliche and terrible. To those of us that were, it's easy to see how their songs stand out over someone like, say, Thursday

Sidenote: I think it must have been about the third time I went out with NYC Sarah, she, Phil, & I went over to Pizza Luce in Uptown (I was in Roseville at the time, she in Highland Park). I drove over, but I'm pretty sure Phil and I had too many Summits, because I know she drove back. In our intoxicated state, we turned up, "Cute Without The 'E'" about as loud as we could and valiantly tag-teamed the vocals just as they are on the record while Sarah watched in horror. Remarkably, within a year she was debating marrying me. I'll never understand my life.

3. What's your favorite lyric by 3?

Favorite Atmosphere lyric? "These alleyways and these street lights have seen my best days/before I was a germ learning how to misbehave/all the way to the grave/Southside is my resting place..."

4. How did you get into 49?

I got into Babyshambles purely from my love of The Libertines. Pete Doherty's new band can't touch his old one, but the highs are nearly as high (no pun intended).

5. How many albums by 13 do you own?

I own four albums by Gorillaz: S/T, G-Sides, Demon Days, & Plastic Beach

6. What is your favorite song by 50?

My favorite BK-One song is probably "Call To Arms." Great beat that builds from a bassline to some crazy Brazilian horns. And I Self kills it.

7. Is there a song by 39 that makes you sad?

How could any Plain Ole Bill song make me sad? Not only is his mixtape stellar, but I've seen him rock NYC as P.O.S.'s touring DJ and rock MPLS at Triple Double Tuesday. He also works at Fifth Element, is one of only two Squawk Box residents to pet Margo (along with Dessa), and his favorite sandwich is the Old School Tempeh at The Wedge. Nothing about Plain Ole Bill makes me sad.

8. What is your favorite song by 15?

Shiiiiitttt... This is the same answer I gave a couple years ago to this question. My favorite Murs song is still "Silly Girl." Here's what I wrote about this song when I posted it as one of my favorites of the 2000's:

Another personal choice. This song has so many lines that have become regular fixtures of Phil & my conversation that I’ll have to break it down.

1. “I’m at where I’m at and I’ma be where I’ma be and that’s about all you need to know…”

When girls text one of us at random or when we’re out painting the city gold.

2. “It’s not hot, it’s not cute, it’s not getting you anywhere, and it’s about to get you fired…”

Usually referring to the slightly angrier text follow-up text from aforementioned girl when the first text is ignored.

3. “One day at the crib she gonna let you break ground…”

Um, self-explanatory

4. “That’s how it be when your falling in…um… I wouldn’t say that…”

Ha! We’re bad people.

5. “Silly little girl, simple little girl, you didn’t want me when I wanted you…”

Instant “my girl and I broke up and I’ve gone super-fucking-emo” antidote.

6. “I took Tasha to the Hyatt, oh yeah, I went there again…”

As far as I know neither of us has actually brought a girl to the Hyatt. Or even set foot in a Hyatt. Still, fun line to drop.

7. “That story about that cow and that milk ain’t a fact, ‘cause if you wait too long that milk goes sour, and I like my lovin’ hot no more cold shower.”

I played this song specifically for that line while driving Phil and his girl home from Minnehaha Lanes once. There is nothing as fun as an inside joke between two people when there’s four people in a car.

9. What is your favorite song by 5?

My favorite Arctic Monkeys song is still "Mardy Bum" (although, "Cornerstone" is a close second). It's a brilliantly poppy song that sands off the rough edges of the guitars on Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not. Plus, the lyrics concern the story of how Alex Turner's significant other gets angry at him for being late despite the fact that it wasn't his fault at all. He implores her to remember when they would, "Laugh and joke around, remember cuddles in the kitchen just to get things off the ground" while conceding that those things are, "Right hard to remember on a day like today when you're all argumentative and you've got that face on..."

I mean, who can't relate to this situation?

10. Is there a song by 6 that makes you happy?

I wouldn't say any Sage Francis song makes me happy on its own merits, but I have great memories of rolling around with Phil while listening to "Runaways." These memories make me happy, so I guess that counts.

11. What is the worst song by 40?

The worst song by Madvillain? Fuck, who could tell? That whole album runs like one long, bizarro track with MF Doom drifting in and out of Madlib's canvas of beats. I dunno.

12. What is your favorite song by 10?

While their distaste for Minnesota (and disappointing new album) have combined to dull my love for The Hold Steady, I still love "Hot Soft Light." "I was Lyndale South, man, I was kicking it with cousins..."

13. What is a good memory you have involving 30?

While I was living out in New York Art Brut played a five night stand. Sarah and I went and caught the finale of the stand and it was a great time. I wrote a whole blog post about this back when it happened. For more details, scroll thataway.

Specifically, though. I remember everybody at this show enjoying it thoroughly, the band included. Oddly, with just a song or two left, the dude behind me yelled, "Hey Eddie!" (referring to the lead singer Eddie Argos). When Eddie looked over the guy threw up his middle finger and yelled, "Fuck you!" It seemed to be kind of good natured, but the look on Argos' face is still burned in my brain. He looked genuinely hurt!

14. What is your favorite song by 38?

My favorite Lupe song is probably still "Kick, Push." I do have a very special fondness for his song "Go-Go Gadget Flow." I mean, the first line of the song is, "I'm from a city in the Midwest, best city in the whole wide, wide world..." Ya'll know I eat that shit up.

15. Is there a song by 19 that makes you happy?

Y'know, Aesop Rock's music usually ain't the happiest. I remember when he started his Twitter accounted and someone wrote, "Oh, Aesop Rock has a Twitter? Get ready for tweets about doom & cigarettes..."

The song "Pigs" (the secret track on Aesop Rock's None Shall Pass LP) does have a line or two that makes me happy. Specifically, " I don't really know the working details of your tribe, I know that's one ugly fucking tie..."

16. Is there a song by 25 that makes you sad?

Plenty of Buck 65 songs make me feel sad, but his song "The Floor" (from Secret House Against The World) is sad enough to make Ted Leo want to kill himself.

17. What is the first song you ever heard by 23?

Favorite Killers song? Good one. As those of you have read Flatbasset before know, I'm a huge Killers fan. Their hooks will live in your head for days. I suppose if I had to pick, I'd go with "When You Were Young." Phenomenal guitar, great hook, snarky lyrics, sounds incredible coming from a car stereo.

18. What's your favorite lyric by 11?

Favorite Why? lyric? C'mon! I'll keep it to Top 5:

05. "I conquered my old childhood silence and now the world is my lit confessional marquee..."

04. "I wish I could feel close to somebody but I don't feel nothin', now they say I need to quit doing all this random f...."

03. "Your cat clawed out my eyes while I was distracted by your smile, now my sockets sit like empty catcher's mitts waiting...

02. "There is no paved street worthy of your perfect Scandanavian feet..."

01. "I'm lucky to be under the same sky that held the exhale from your first breath..."

19. Who is a favorite member of 1?

While it's hard to separate the different members of The Cribs (I mean, they are brothers), I'll go with Gary Jarman. His brother Ryan is the one who makes all the headlines (Twitter feuds, near-death experiences at the NME Awards, dates Kate Nash), his singing voice is rough.

Small anecdote to explain my position: I went and saw The Cribs at The Varsity Theatre a while back. At one point, Ryan Jarman wandered over to a piano that sat at the side of the stage. It was well out of tune and not mic'd (up as it is just part of the ambiance), but that didn't stop a drunken Ryan from banging out an improvised, rambling ballad. As Ryan finished up, Gary said (in his dry British accent), "Good one, Ryan. Let's hope none of the bootleggers got here tonight." (This joke was much funnier than the drunken antics of his brother. If you know me, perhaps you understand why I like this story.)

20. Is there a song by 14 that makes you happy?

There are plenty of P.O.S. songs that make me happy, but I'm gonna put "Purexed" at the top of the list. Any song that has the line, "Hush, let 'em try to find the beauty in your face..." in the chorus will top my lists forever.

21. What is a good memory involving 27?

Oddly, I have no "good" memory involving Les Savy Fav. I think this stems from the fact that I've never seen them live or even listened to their records with anybody else present. They do always remind me of StP Sarah, which I suppose counts as "happy" most of the time.

22. What is your favorite song by 16?

My favorite Doomtree song is still "Gander Back." Just P.O.S., Sims, & Mictlan going bananas on the grimy beat. If anybody ever complains that Twin Cities hip-hop is just a bunch of people ripping off Atmosphere, send them this song, then un-friend them.

23. What is the first song you ever heard by 47?

Jesus, this is the third time I've mentioned StP Sarah in this post. I think the first Har Mar Superstar song I ever heard was "Baby, Do You Like My Clothes?" I hope that makes her laugh.

24. What is your favorite album by 18?

I know most people will say Let It Be is their favorite Replacements album (and if you ask me another day, I might agree), but I'm gonna say Tim today. The hat trick of songs at the end ("Left Of The Dial," "Little Mascara", & "Here Comes A Regular") are so good that you just want to start the record over again.

25. What is your favorite song by 21?

As of today, I'm going to say my favorite Streets song is "The Sherry End." The whole song is about how great it is when you're out with a circle of really close friends. How a joke turns into an inside joke turns into merely a knowing look. "When a good night flounders and it's over, how good it was I tend to know, by adding up or rounding down, the evening's count of jokes..."

This one is stupidly personal because it reminds me of all the inside jokes Phil and I had that no one else gets. Fortunately Mikey Boy Crisis and I have developed a pretty good repertoire now. Brodie Croyle!!!

26. What is the first song you ever heard by 26?

What was the first Paul Westerberg song I ever heard? I have no clue, but I'm willing to bet it was "Dyslexic Heart." In fact, I hope it was.

27. What is your favorite album by 3?

My favorite Atmosphere record is You Can't Imagine How Much Fun We're Having. It's the perfect balance between a fully realized album and a very good mixtape. I love the way Ant bridges the gaps between songs with snippets of beats and other random audio rather than ending the song then starting a new one.

Plus, this record has three tracks that show every relevant side of Slug.

01. "Say Hey There" - The stereotypical "emo-rap" song that everyone hates on Atmosphere for. Outside of that stereotype, though, it's a phenomenal "fuck you" break-up song. In fact, I remember specifically putting it on a mixtape I made for an ex once while we were in that "we'll try to be friends" phase. Believe it or not, we did not remain friends.

02. "Get Fly" - One of those positive jams that Atmosphere never gets enough credit for. When that piano hits my car stereo I can't help but smile and roll down the windows.

03. "Smart Went Crazy" - Wonderfully abstract collage of what it's like to be pushing 30 in Minnesota. Large failures, small successes... Probably my favorite Atmosphere song.

28. What is you favorite song by 2?

Even though I'm obsessed with Kanye's new record right now, I think my favorite song of his is still "The Glory." It's a great "being famous kinda sucks, but it's also kinda incredible" rant that has classic lines like, "When you meet me in person, what do you feel like? I know, I know, I look better in real life!"

If you have this track, put it on and try to tune out Kanye. This is a criminally underrated beat.

29. What was the first song you ever heard by 32?

I only just heard The Hood Internet for the first time a couple of months ago over at The Depot (no, not the one on 7th St.). If my memory is correct it was a mash-up of Modest Mouse and someone from a YouTube clip, but I'm not sure. This definitely happened at about 3:00 AM.

30. What is you favorite song by 8?

My favorite Kid Cudi song is still "Pursuit Of Happiness" w/MGMT & Ratatat. I've had so many drunken singalongs to this one that I've lost count. It's very liberating after you've maybe said one too many stupid things at the bar or sent one too many drunk texts to sing along with lines like, "People tell me slow my roll, I'm screamin' out, 'fuck that!'" Hmmm... Perhaps Kid Cudi's an enabler.

31. How many times have you seen 17 live?

As a solo artist and at random Doomtree related shows I'll bet I've seen Dessa perform live at least a dozen times.

That being said, I see her all the time. When I moved back to MPLS I moved into the building next to hers. I see her all the time. Like I mentioned, she's the only artist on earth that has the approval of both Robert Christgau & Margo Basset. Of course, only one of their opinions actually means anything.

32. Is there a song by 44 that makes you happy?

Most of The Libertines songs make me happy, but if I had to pick just one I'd go with "Don't Look Back Into The Sun," a b-side from their I Get Along EP. If The Replacements and Blur had a bastard child, it would be this song.

33. How did you get into 12?

I got into Wale completely on a whim. When I got back into hip-hop 5 or 6 years ago I was really just on that indie shit like the skinny, white, bearded walking cliche that I was. After a while I realized that their isn't any shame in liking mainstream hip-hop. I felt like Wale did a nice job of straddling that line, so I started downloading his mixtapes.

34. What is the worst song by 45?

I'm not going to say that any song from F. Stokes & Lazerbeak's Death Of A Handsome Bride is bad, but I suppose if I had to rank them I'd put the album opener "Too" as the "worst." I mean, it's acapella. Stokes kills it, but hip-hop without beats is like sex without a Smiths record (sorry, that's a joke for anybody who's actually slogging through this whole post).

35. What was the first song you ever heard by 34?

The first Descendents song I ever heard was "Coffee Mug" from the Punk-O-Rama 2 album that Epitaph put out way back in the day. Though it was a solid track, but when I saw the "When I Get Old" and "Lucky" videos over the next few months I was hooked.

36. What is the first song you ever heard by 15?

The first song I ever heard by Murs was "Bad Man." Thanks to my dude Phil for turning me on to 3:16: The 9th Edition. Still one of my favorite hip-hop albums.

37. How many times have you seen 42 live?

Remarkably, I have never seen Dillinger Four live. I realize I just lost a ton of MPLS-cred points, but fuck! I mean, they only play twice and year and it's always at a sold out Trizziple Rock. Plus, I had to work, I ran out of gas, my bike got stolen, the busses weren't running and I had holes in my shoes! It wasn't my fault!

38. What is you favorite song by 36?

My favorite Felt song is "Gangster Ass Anthony." Just Slug and Murs boasting over a lush Ant beat. I mean, this is pretty much why they created this Felt thing anyway, right?

39. What was the first song you ever heard by 28?

The first Bloc Party song I remember hearing is "I Still Remember" from A Weekend In The City. Remarkably, I got through all of the hype about Silent Alarm without ever actually hearing it. Regardless, if you want to turn someone on to Bloc Party, play "I Still Remember." I feel like that one is destined to be on any "100 Greatest English Love Songs" list that NME feels like publishing.

40. What is you favorite album by 7?

You know, for years I considered Parklife my favorite Blur album but you know which one I put on when I'm in a "Blur" mood? Think Tank. I maintain that this is one of the most underrated albums of the 2000's. They were forced to take a slightly different approach after Graham Coxon left and they kinda became Radiohead-light, like Coldplay, only the exact opposite. They embraced the electronics and the sideways melodies of the Kid A/Amnesiac albums and filtered them through Damon Albarn's pop sensibilities. "Out Of Time," "Good Song," & "Battery In Your Leg" are all classics. And "Sweet Song" is in my top 10 songs of all time. Absolutely heartbreaking.

41. Is there a song by 31 that makes you happy?

Pretty much every Plastic Constellations song makes me happy, but I'll go with "Black Market Pandas" as the best of them (if only because I like yelling "South Minnesoooooottta!" in my car.

42. What is your favorite album by 41?

I think my favorite Alkaline Trio album is Good Mourning. It has a leg up because it was the first of their albums that I owned, so it became the bar.

This was the first album where they sanded off the rough edges and kinda made a pop album. I know this alienated some of their "punk" fan base, but, y'know, fuck them. Punks are dumb. And I love a good hook. Plus, it has "Blue Carolina," one of my favorite love songs ever.

43. What is your favorite song by 24?

I only have one Lifetime album, their self-titled comeback album. I suppose I would put the album opener "Northbound Breakdown" as my favorite.

44. What is a good memory you have involving 33?

Well, I didn't get into Lifter Puller until after they broke up, so I can't say I have many happy memories of them specifically. When I was living in NYC with no friends and no job, I did spend an inordinate amount of time trying to penetrate their epic storyline. And I wonder why I never actually made any friends out there.

This isn't really a memory, but I did use their template as the basis for that other thing that I write. This relationship will pay off eventually.

45. What is your favorite song by 35?

My favorite Stone Roses song is "I Am The Resurrection." If you think Kanye's mix of ego & insecurity is crazy, you should listen to Ian Brown. "I am the resurrection and I am the light, I couldn't ever bring myself to hate you as I'd liiiii-iiiii-kkkeee..."

46. Is there a song by 9 that makes you happy?

There are plenty of Morrissey songs that make me happy. Fuck it, I'm picking two.

01. "You're The One For Me, Fatty" - What can I say? Listen to it. Tell me it doesn't make you happy.

02. "Such A Little Thing Makes Such A Big Difference" - Wildly underrated. And ode to the little, underappreciated things (and if you've heard my 'little things/big things' theory, you know why I appreciate it). And so dryly quotable.

"Such a little thing, a gentle tone of kindness, or written words on paper, can you write?"

47. What is your favorite album by 4?

My favorite Jay-Z album has always been The Blueprint. A hungry Jay-Z, a bunch of great beats (headlined by young and also hungry Kanye), and no guest stars (except a random Eminem appearance near the end)... I mean, what more could you want? Plus, "Heart Of The City (Ain't No Love)" is the greatest song Jay-Z will ever record (and you know he's got some classics).

48. Who is a favorite member of 39?

Who is my favorite member of Plain Ole Bill. Um, his sampler?

49. What is the first song you ever heard by 43?

I bough El-P's I'll Sleep When You're Dead without ever hearing him before, so the first song I heard was the album opener "Tasmanian Pain Coaster" w/The Mars Volta. Been hooked ever since.

50. What is your favorite album by 21?

My favorite Streets album, like most people, is A Grand Don't Come For Free, which is, inarguably one of the greatest hip-hop concept albums of all time. The story of the deceptions, the breakups, the fights, & the drugs while hovering in the British lower-middle class is bizarrely compelling.

Alright, I'm tired now. If you made it this far, thanks.

And Ya Say Twins' City!

The Twin Cities sports landscape is looking a little bleak right now. The Vikings have been spinning their wheels for three weeks now and, even if the Randy Moss trade comes to fruition, are still facing an uphill battle to make the playoffs. The Wild only won one preseason game and are starting the season on the other side of the world (more on that to come). And the Timberwolves’ season actually peaked two days ago with a preseason win over the Lakers.

However…

The Twins playoff series against the New York Yankees starts tonight! I have absolute faith that this is the year that the Twins get over this hurdle and beat the Yankees in the postseason.

Why? Five reasons:

01. The Twins have solid pitching from their starters to their closers. Liriano, Pavano, Duensing, & Blackburn may not instill fear into the Yankees lineup, but they are remarkably consistent and aren’t afraid to put the ball in play. At the other end, Jesse Crain and Matt Capps have turned into one of the best 8^th-9^th inning combos in the league.

02. The Twins have Target Field on their side. October in Minneapolis ain’t nothin’ to fuck with. Fortunately, we’ll be riding the bat of Smokin’ Joe Mauer, who was born and raised in these winters. What’s 45 degrees to me, homey? Plus, the shine of the new stadium is just too much. The story of the new stadium and it’s World Series win will be a story we tell our kids (well, a story YOU tell your kids. That ain’t my style. I’ll tell Basset about it).

03. The Yankees have grown fat and complacent. After winning a championship last year, the desire and drive isn’t where it needs to be this time of year.

04. The “Big Four” of the Yankees (Pettite, Jeter, Rivera, & Posada) are all over 35 and dealing with the inevitable consequences of getting older, slower, fatter, slower, dumber, & fatter.

05. Lastly, man, fuck some Yankees! We’re due!

Alright, let’s break this down position by position and see who has the edge:

Catcher: Bro Mauer vs. Jorge Posada

Mauer: Conceived, born, & educated behind home plate.

Posada: As a child, Posada used to steal fruit from the market in his hometown. When confronted by his mother, he threw an apple at her. Of course, the throw was 3 feet short and 6 feet two her left, leaving her standing up, completely safe.

First Base: Kid Cuddy vs. Mark Teixeira

Cuddy: Has played every position in the Twins organization, including pitching, catching, manager, first base coach, pitching coach, bus driver, uniform launderer, and PED-dealer-keeper-awayer. Because of his devotion to the team, management has asked him repeatedly to please, “slow his roll,” to which he’s angrily responded, “Fuck that!”

Teixeira: After leaving Texas to sign with the Yankees after the 2008 season, Teixeira was heard claiming that the only thing that was “bigger in Texas” was the women. Of course, this never really bothered him as he has no interest whatsoever in women.

Second Base: O-Dogg vs. Robinson Cano

O-Dogg: Just ‘scited man! Keep it loose, lil’ rowdy! Man, gets cold, but I ain’t sweat, nawww, not O-Dogg!

Robinson Cano: Has made millions of dollars while playing and living in New York City, yet refuses to buy an MTA card. Rather, he waits until rush hour to push through doors that have been propped open by handicap (and fully paying) patrons.

Shortstop: J.J. Hardy vs. Derek Jeter

Hardy: Acquired from Milwaukee during the offseason for Carlos Gomez. Hasn’t quite lived up to expectations, however, the drop off is understandable, as this season was his first experience living in a major Midwestern city.

Jeter: Captain Clutch had career lows in batter average, RBI’s, and on-base percentage. Also, he dated Mariah Carey. No, really.

Third Base: Danny Valencia vs. Alex Rodriguez

Valencia: During the AL Central-clinching party, CF Denard Span said of Danny Valencia, “Watch out ladies, Danny’s out on the town tonight.”

Rodriguez: Has never actually showered in front of teammates because years and years of abusing performance enhancing drugs have left his testicles as shriveled as a Nevada Boxing Commissioner’s.

Left Field: Deltron vs. Brett Gardner

Deltron: Finally living up to the potential he’s scratched at for years. Plus, he has a Misfits tattoo (leading to the “Delmon Young Fiend Club” and bridging the gap between hipster jerk-offs and bros). During the clinching celebration he claimed that, “This is the best time of the year. Poppin’ bottles.” I would like to hang out with Deltron.

Gardner: What the fuck is a “Brett Gardner?”

Center Field: Denard Span vs. Curtis Granderson

Span: Seems to be aligning himself quite nicely with the tradition left behind by center fielders Kirby Puckett and Torii Hunter. He’ll likely go down as second on the list, just ahead of Hunter, as he can grow a full beard and has actually not swung at every face-high fastball he’s ever seen.

Granderson: The former Tiger seems to lack the motivation and drive to succeed in the postseason thanks to the peace of mind he’s gained from seeing only three boats on fire on the streets of The Bronx, as opposed to the daily boat burnings he witnessed in Detroit.

Right Field: Twitches Kubel vs. Nick Swisher

Kubel: Has a remarkable knack for coming through in the clutch despite twitching he’s been mainlining Starbucks.

Swisher: The broiest bro who ever broed. Swisher carries twice as much luggage on road trip as any other Yankee, filling an extra two bags with hair gel, roofies, Coors Light, Axe Body Spray, and Ed Hardy t-shirts.

DH: Jim Thome vs. Lance Berkman

Thome: A revelation this year, leading the Twins in home runs and becoming a charming, gentlemanly fan favorite.

Berkman: Looks a lot like that guy who kept calling your mother after she and your dad split up, doesn’t he?

Starting Pitchers:

Twins:

Francisco Liriano: Once waited at the airport for 45 minutes to pick up his sister, even though his sister texted him and said she’d be delayed and she’d just catch a cab.

Carl Pavano: Everyone in New York hates him. Yes, that goes in the plus column, as everybody knows New Yorker’s are self-centered assholes with no taste and no appreciation for anything they can’t latch onto and suck like leeches.

Brian Duensing: Has never tipped less than 15%. Even on coffee.

Nick Blackburn: I had a friend who did some intern work at the STrib and she told me that Nick Blackburn is the only Twin who isn’t a bro. No truth to the rumour that he listens to Ratatat to get pumped up for starts.

Yankees:

C.C. Sabathia: Once tried to grill and eat a “Brett Gardner.”

Andy Pettite: Has dutifully tried to help teammate Alex Rodriguez make peace with his steroid-abuse-based shrunken testicles by constantly showing off his own steroid-abuse-based shrunken testicles.

Phil Hughes: Had his name in the rumours of potential Johan Santana trade that eventually fell through. Never quite got over the prospect of living in the greatest city modern man has ever built.

Closers: Matt Capps vs. Mariano Rivera

Capps: Came over from Washington in the middle of the season, got a save in his first game, and said, “I’m just so excited to be in Minnesota. The fans, the stadium… Minneapolis is great.” 50 years ago we took your team, this year we took your closer. Hope you enjoyed Christian Guzman.

Rivera: The greatest closer in postseason history. Hates puppies.

Prediction: Twins in four.

Series MVP: Deltron (3 HR, 9 RBI, 2 Outfield Assists, at least one shouting match with Yankee fans, and more popped bottles than anyone this side of Gucci Mane.)

Get on the bandwagon now! When the Twins with the World Series we’re tipping over the 7.